Tuesday, 10 March 2009

oops.. fell in again

Fell into the hole again.

Have a little trouble dragging myself out today. See the problem. Keep falling in anyway.

Same old story.

I wont bore you yet again.


Sometimes I astound myself at my stupidity.

How much pain I am willing to endure.

Before I will be forced to act.


Rationally.

With thought.

And love

Always love.


I have been waiting for love to act on its own I think.

It hasn't.


It was waiting for me too.


Sometimes just loving isn't enough.


I am looking forward to going to my dear cottage tonight.

I will probably cry again.


I make a habit of that often lately.

They will be sick of me soon and say 'piss off'.

No they wont.

They will keep standing me back up and pushing me back out there into the pain.

The pain that will force me to act.

To grow


And if all else fails.

I will let time heal.

And get on with the business of healing me.

And give time time.

Whilst healing me.


sigh

bye

xx

9 comments:

Linda S. Socha said...

Great post ..Well said and I can relate!Take care of you... and yes I know you know that
Linda

Natalie said...

Speechless here. WTF?

I am glad you have somewhere that heals you, and makes you feel safe to be vulnerable.

When the cottage is closed, I will most likely be up still, if you need to chat. Fine also, if you are fine also. :D

Love to you.xx♥

Michelle said...

Good girl.

I see a huge growth in you my friend.

You will too in time.

xxx

Anonymous said...

Hang in there baby...you are a very special person!w.w.

dragonesque said...

Oh, Jen. I don't know what else to say but *hugs* to you always.
Wendy

Lisa said...

smooch- becasue we love you we will support you always - you know that xx

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Sometimes, just getting the tears out is therapy enough. Hang in there.

Audrey said...

Jen I love how you wrote, "Get on with the business of healing me." That is SUCH a good attitude. We all want you to be well and happy.
Biggest hugs to you.
xoxoxo

Laura Hegfield said...

That hole is a familiar place to me right now...and I too have faith that it is a place where rooting down and healing growth are happening. Trust what you know to be true.