Friday, 15 February 2008

so life goes on......

Well things have settled down a lot over here.

Am still really sad and have a lot going around in my mind. Kinda like the way it is described here. I have talked to lots of the people that are close to me and I have listened to the advice that was commented here (yes 'chelle i have listened). I have a lot that i cant, at this moment in time, comprehend. Some things I cant figure out how to implement. Some things are an easy step.

I think this will be a process that will take some time.

I have my second appointment with a psychologist on monday. This will be more fruitful then my first which was a getting to know you type session. I am (now) open to the prospect of taking some kind of medication for this depression or whatever it is. And for anyone who knows me will understand that this is a REALLY big step for me. I have never wanted to take anything because I dont want to suppress anything that needs to be dealt with and push down things that will only come back to bite me on the square arse later anyway. I am also a bit scared because i know of quite a few people who have had very negative reactions to these types of drugs.

I am spending my time at the moment (not doing housework, like i really should be) thinking a lot. I am trying to focus on the thi ngs that I can dredge up as being positive aspects of me. Things that ARE strong and healthy. Am trying to build on them.

Create for myself a ladder that I can climb up and out of this hole i have dug for myself.

So thank you my friends. Thank you for honestly supporting me with your wisdom and words of encouragement.

Now i think i might have to go and face up to all that housework.

Avoidance tactics are kinda not working. PLUS I can think whilst vacuuming.

Good plan.


Lisa said...

this is a massive posting dear square pants and i am SO releived to read it.
Dont fear the drugs, theya cna be your best friend and i know, i know what a big step this is for you.
God Im impressed
you are one impressive square assed witch !!
well done............

Misunderstood said...

I hear you, I beleive the medication gives you a false sense of who you are and how you are feeling, it masks everything. I found this out the second time around. Maybe they might work for you, but if they don't realise it and talk to the Shrink. Adxo.

Myst_72 said...

without anti-depressants I may be a single mother of, one.
And I'm currently married with two children.

It may take a little adjusting, and I have never given more than half what was prescribed for the first few days, sometimes people give up because of nausea for the first couple of days, which settles.

I think it is far braver to say "hey I think I need some help with this" than to struggle on and suffer. Quite often those close to you can really notice you are struggling, but are scared to say anything.

Best wishes to you,


Anchell said...

Good girl

Kathleen said...

Thinking of you Jen : )


Cyndy said...

Yay for Jen, who thinks she is square but is very well-rounded!

mwa ;0)

Jewell said...

sometimes what you fear most is what you need the to you jen X

Anonymous said...

Jen, I'm so sorry you're struggling so much right now, but I agree with the girls and guy above - it is really brave and a huge thing to say you need help.

And for every person who has had a bad reaction to a medication, there are 50 it has helped, even saved lives...

If you ever need to talk or rant it out or have any questions, please know I'm always here - you can email me any time.

Take care of yourself, sweety. Let us know how it goes.

Jac xXx

Bee said...

love to you jen.xxxx