Friday, 15 February 2008
so life goes on......
Well things have settled down a lot over here.
Am still really sad and have a lot going around in my mind. Kinda like the way it is described here. I have talked to lots of the people that are close to me and I have listened to the advice that was commented here (yes 'chelle i have listened). I have a lot that i cant, at this moment in time, comprehend. Some things I cant figure out how to implement. Some things are an easy step.
I think this will be a process that will take some time.
I have my second appointment with a psychologist on monday. This will be more fruitful then my first which was a getting to know you type session. I am (now) open to the prospect of taking some kind of medication for this depression or whatever it is. And for anyone who knows me will understand that this is a REALLY big step for me. I have never wanted to take anything because I dont want to suppress anything that needs to be dealt with and push down things that will only come back to bite me on the square arse later anyway. I am also a bit scared because i know of quite a few people who have had very negative reactions to these types of drugs.
I am spending my time at the moment (not doing housework, like i really should be) thinking a lot. I am trying to focus on the thi ngs that I can dredge up as being positive aspects of me. Things that ARE strong and healthy. Am trying to build on them.
Create for myself a ladder that I can climb up and out of this hole i have dug for myself.
So thank you my friends. Thank you for honestly supporting me with your wisdom and words of encouragement.
Now i think i might have to go and face up to all that housework.
Avoidance tactics are kinda not working. PLUS I can think whilst vacuuming.