Tuesday, 19 February 2008

and on and on.....

Ok - am still here.

Had a LOVELY lunch today at SJ's in Hamilton with my dear friend Lea. We have been friends since Kinder and she is one of the most amazing people i know. I am very lucky arent I. I have LOTS of amazing friends (yes you - you know who you are). We talked and talked. We whinged and whinged. We laughed and laughed. We talked without words and understood without explanations. Awesome. Love you Lea Lea

Had my appointment yesterday with Mel. Some progress has been made. I explained things she needed clarification about. This had the effect of making things clearer to me too. Some things that I have dismissed as unimportant have indeed been affecting more then i realised. Some things will need more talk. I have some homework. (Lisa, will you call her and let her know my track record on this one?) And yes, I have a doctors appointment on Friday afternoon to discuss the possibility of me embarking on the 'Happy Pill' journey. Hmmmmm........ Bit scared.

Have had a brainwave too. This might interest you Faerie. I mentioned in my last post that I am focussing on aspects of me that I feel are positive. Thus integrating and accepting them as me. Proving to myself that I am not so bad after all. Well I am going to make SoulCollage cards of them. Bring them from thought into the physical. Have been searching for images when I can, will blog the results when i manage to stick them down.

Anyway. Thats my pity party over. Am regaining myself bit by bit. And I know i sound a bit pathetic here, but, this has been a pretty intense couple of weeks for me. Incomparable to others pain, but real nontheless. I wish i was stronger. I will be stronger. I will be more confident. Am taking dolly steps here, but they ARE going forward... and will continue to do so.

Thinking of my beautiful friends and their families that are doing it tough at the moment. Lots of people are being forced to reach further inside at the moment. . . . .

Have a lovely Wednesday.


Cyndy said...

This is very positive, Jen. Keep it going!

And real friends are a treasure indeed!

Lisa said...

the fact that the last few weeks have been hard for you is not lost on any of us- we know you have been suffering badly. The hard part was and is that in truth, as your friends, we can do very little more than sit and watch while you figure it out for yourself. you are well loved Jennifer, make no mistake about that, and becasue i love you i have needed you to find your own solution to this maze- and you have, you have and i am so very proud. You are stronger than you think- its time to get comfortable with your power.
Keep going Jen-better times ahead
Lisa-O-Fur xx

Myst_72 said...

Well done Jen - little steps forward are HUGE ones.

You can't measure your pain against another's. Hard weeks for you are still hard, just different to someone else's hard weeks....


Jen said...

aww thank you everyone.

love you all


Kristy-Lee said...

If you ask Kade they are called "Crazy Pills" and he is bloody happy that I am on them!!

Hope you are feeling positive today.

Love etc