Oh I am sooooo blessed.
I really am.
I was hesitant to blog more whinging. I dont like being negative. I was always a really positive person - finding the light side of most of what life threw at me. I considered myself a 'cup half full kind of girl'.
I dont think of myself that way anymore and am quite upset by that. I WANT to be positive. I WANT to be happy. I just obviously ALLOW myself to fall into despair. I have been looking after others for so long that I have forgotten to look after myself. Mother burnout.
I have taken some steps towards change. I have put in some more rules and consequences that make sense and I think we can make progress with these.
I have written extensive notes since yesterday. Just everything that came into my head. Some things came up there that I wasnt expecting. Straightened some things out in my head. Good. All good.
Still. The support. I now fully appreciate and understand why I am soooo addicted to blogger. People from all over the wide world who take the time to write a note of support for me when I was so down. On a level I kind of knew it would happen... in fact I was sort of counting on the support from you guys to get me going again. The level of support that actually came through blew my mind. I have printed them all out and have referred to them numerous times since. When I need a boost I look at them.... pathetic I suppose, but oh it has worked for me so I dont care.
I have a folder of things now. Your comments. Some little notes like kids write about how much they love me, so I dont forget that. I have some journalling. Some SoulCollage cards.
I have also been drawing a tarot card of the day. Yesterday I drew The Magician. I took it to mean that the situation as it stands is karmic and a necessary step for evolutionary growth. The support of the heavens is pouring down through me and I have all the tools at my disposal. I am supported by the universe.
A good card for this day. Excellent.
Today I drew the Hierophant. The channeller of Grace. I read this today to watch, listen and learn. Because information would be given to me from a third party regarding the situation. Indeed it was. Most excellent. An alliance was made and an offer of support was extended. Most excellent.
All in all, on the up and up. Miss 14 x trouble is on a sleepover birthday party - (legit... I checked) and so pressure is eased all through the house. We are all able to gather our strength for a day or so before she comes back.
I have taken my tablets TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!! Go me. lol. Oh so hopeful and positive.
With such might behind me, how could I fail.
Love you my new friends
Love you too my old friends
And while I am in the mood - I love my friends yet to be.
I will post my Sydney photos tomorrow. I promise.
Check out this moon astrology page if you are so inclined.. good stuff here