A lightbulb moment......

Wow

Anchell just emailed me a link to a page saying 'just read it'. I am gobsmacked. (link here).
The image above is almost exactly the one i saw in my delirium and the explanation makes everything so much clearer. Confirmation if you will as i had kinda figured that the images were encouraging to clear my own tangles, especially with people who tend to wind me up. According to this website, the 'tangles' can be from lifetimes past and retained on a cellular level. All this totally resonates with me.
I want to clarify for you what i meant by 'commiting to this life'. I wasnt committing to my life circumstances, but committing to live. I felt like i was being given the choice - to live or to move on. I chose to live. For the record, i was given this choice probably about this time last year, and at the time i emphatically stated 'I CHOOSE TO LIVE'. I dont understand why i am being given this choice so often. I feel like i have so much to do and so much to offer. I want to experience so much and there is endless information out there, who has even scratched the surface.
So this is literally leaving me scratching my head. Who? What? Why? Where? When? Hmmmm
Any thoughts???????

Almost back again

Thanks for all your kind wishes, thoughts and handy hints. Am feeling a lot better, symptoms all gone - although am only up to about 70% of my usual energy level. This is bothering me as i usually dont sit down for long (only in front of the computer!!) and have been on the lounge for days now.
I had an extremely odd night last night. I woke up obviously with a fever. I was freezing, then boiling, back and forth. Was having lots of really weird visualisations and reality seemed to have totally left me for a couple of hours. I felt like i had to make a decision to 'commit' to this life..... in one vision there seemed to be lots of tangled fibres and i was trying to straighten them all out and make them smooth and flat.... delirium?? probably. Weird?? definately!!

Sick of being sick

I have it too...
I thought it was against the rules that mums caught things off their kids....
Miserable
Tired
Sick of the sight of the loo
Just plain sick
Whhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Never mind - it wont last forever and i am sure to get over it eventually!!!

A fun quiz

I found this quiz online - I am obsessed with King Arthur and am CERTAIN that i was there!!!

On another note - Hmmmmmmm - i am thinking this is basically the same message that my 'friend' was trying to give me the other day...... ;-}

You're King Arthur. All you want to do is make everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing something of your own. In fact, I don't think you think of yourself as much as you think of the welfare of other people. You're a very kind- hearted individual, but remember to stand up for what YOU want sometimes... You don't want to be a walking doormat!
Which Mists of Avalon Character are YOU?b>


Stop it Anchell - i can hear you sniggering!!!!

Things i am grateful for.....

1. Small boys who are strong and robust enough to throw up every 20 mins for 7 hours straight and survive.

2. A supermarket within 2 mins drive for supplies of lemonade, apple juice, Glen 20, Pine 0 Clean, disinfecting handwash, jatz biscuits etc.

3. Understanding friends who support and endure a teary, sleep deprived worried mother blubbering on the end of the phone about a boy who lies around limp for 3 days.

4. Ditto for an understanding doctor.

5. That he has obviously never learned to share, as no-one else in the household has caught it (touch wood)

6. Disinfectant.

7. A good reliable washing machine that is happy to work double shifts if necessary for no extra pay.

8. Caring big sisters who love and worry about their normally annoyingly active little bro'.

9. Blogs to read to take my mind off things.

10. Faith.

11. Pharmacists to relieve me of any excess cash i may have had...

12. Napisan.

13. Sleep.

14. Vegemite on toast.


Egan looked at me when he was halfway through the delirium of this illness and said "I am not from here mum". I said "is that right mate - so where are you from?" - he just looked at me straight in the eye and said very solemnly "somewhere else - just not here".... hmmmm

All through this ordeal i have had the feeling that i have been there before with him. When he was so sick i thought he might die, my first thought was "oh no, not again, i cant lose you again". Odd. That thought never left me and i felt some kind of relief that i had 'passed a test' when i nursed him through this and he is now obviously on the road to recovery.

Any thoughts ???

Quote of the day

I include the below quote from Rob Breezeny's latest astrology newsletter. This kind of message smacks me in the middle of the forehead continually, and i nod sagely then seem to carry on regardless. Maybe one day soon i will get a clue!!! ;-} I thought i might share it, he delivers his messages in a very amusing fashion eh?

Declare amnesty for the part of you that you don't love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: "I must learn to love the fool in me-the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

"Friends...."

Hmmm - have just had an email from a 'well meaning (i think) friend', who is also interested in astrology, alluding to the information i have posted below regarding the solar eclipse in Virgo this friday. She feels it is a message for me to get my life in order (I know she is right - the fact being that i have been trying to do this for as long as i remember and with 5 planets in Virgo, things should be a lot more spick and span around here.... no one knows better then i my shortcomings!!). The thing that is bothering me is that she has added in her message "(DR) PHIL SAYS: CHILDREN JOIN YOUR LIFE YOU DON'T JOIN THEIRS. SO IF YOU KEEP JOINING THEIRS THEN YOU DON'T HAVE ONE. NOT A GOOD MODEL TO SHOW THEM.................."
I dont get this - I have been trying to make sense of this all afternoon and i just cant. Maybe i am dumb. Maybe i cant see the forest for the trees.
How can children be a part of your life and also be .... i dont know.... unimportant??? is that the message or am i just not getting it?
Hmmmmmm... any thoughts? am i just being too sensitive??

Astrology

I thought i would share this information about the new moon in virgo that is happening this friday. These issues affect everyone, not just people born under the sign of Virgo. (Although Virgo's will be affected to a higher degree)



September 22: Solar eclipse in Virgo!

It's time to get out the broom, the vacuum and the dust mop! This is the second new Moon in Virgo; the first was on August 23 and occurred at 0 degrees of Virgo. This second one takes place at 29 degrees, and this one is a big deal since it's also a solar eclipse, which is like an extra intense new Moon. New Moons are a time of new beginnings, and this second one in Virgo is emphasizing the necessity of getting organized and getting your act together. So, ask yourself: Are you running your schedule or is your schedule running you? It is time to get down to the basics of how you are taking care of yourself, how you are getting things done.

Solar eclipses occur at the north or south lunar node with the north node representing the future and the south node, the past. Since this eclipse occurs at the south node, it is clean-up time. It is time to take care of those things you've been meaning to get to that need your attention. Pay special attention to the issue of overwork, which can cause repetitive injuries and stress-related illnesses. What a great time to get an exercise program together and to eat healthfully! Since powerful Pluto squares this new Moon, you'll want to let go of the plans and projects that are clearly putting way too much on your plate.

You can expect that whatever emerges or is brought to a head on the full moon will become a feature catalyst for a budding new cycle/new direction. Mercury is the ruler of Virgo, so watch for useful information, new leads, new job potentials, healing modalities or products and new inventions. At the time of the new moon solar eclipse, Mercury will be trine Neptune. Positively, this influence can provide wonderful creative inspiration and open the heart, to other(s) or to the spiritual side of life. Or it can be one of loss, confusion, deception, self delusion, vulnerability (health or relationship wise, circumstantially, financially). Mercury and Neptune in trine can easily spread cold and flu viruses. Proceed with caution re: financial affairs; back up your computer, guard your health, your valuables, your secrets and your privacy (make sure you know who you are confiding in, test equipment and vehicles regularly. Solar eclipses often portend the birth or death of royalty or personages of note; a prominent spiritual figure may deliver a message, or someone famous may make headline news. With the sign of Virgo so emphasized re: the solar eclipse, there now comes a special opportunity to learn, whether you sign up for something formally, or choose to let the school of life provide you with upgraded training.

I'm BACK

Phew - what a few days it has been... here is a brief(ish) run down.

Thursday 14th - Got up and went to work as usual. 2nd last day of my current 6 week relief stint. Am loving working there but am really looking forward to some 'me' time.... Come home from work and make a phone call to my astrological guru and have an indepth discussion about Astrology and Anchell's blocked Uranus (will talk to you soon about it 'chell, have a bit more info). During this phone call the phone gets up the crackles, which proceed to get louder and louder until we have to hang up as we cant hear each other. Crackles stay on the line and block it for the next hour, after which the phone is dead as a doornail!!!!!! Aaaggghhhh. I can't cope with not having a phone. Ring special friend who phones telstra for me and reports the fault. (Telstra is the one company i would like to send a letter bomb to, so have no faith that the problem will be fixed any time soon).

Friday 15th - Run around all day getting ready for the big dance studio concert of my middle child (the freak of nature). Telstra texted me (sorry Telstra for saying i hate you) telling me the line is fine but my equipment is faulty (hmmmm - of course it had to be MY fault). Come home and test, yep line working - YAY. Head off at 4.15 for the civic theatre with various children and costumes. Drop kids off and go up to darby st for dinner and latte's and wait for the show to begin. Concert going wonderfully until the freak of nature's last dance (which i knew was her favourite) and she doesnt appear. I start to get stressed and churny in the belly.... hmm - if she doesnt come out for the finale in 3 numbers time i am going to find her (thought maybe the flibberty gibbert had forgotten the costume). Finale comes out and she is still missing. I try to find backstage. Have you ever tried to find backstage at the civic theatre - lots of corridors and dead ends but i finally found her. Had a major nosebleed on the way out for her final number and was sitting there covered in blood, in floods of tears, absolutely broken hearted. Poor baby. We arrive home at about 12.30pm.

Saturday 16th. My mum's birthday. We slept in a bit after the late night. I rang mum and wished her a happy birthday and she was miffed because she was supposed to be going out for lunch with her friend and her friend postponed. So she would be sitting all alone all day on her birthday. So I packed up the kids. Made a screaming trip to Jesmond for gift vouchers, flowers, groceries, cake and lunch and we went in and spent a few hours with her. Cheered her up no end. Came home about 3.30pm and straight to the kitchen to cook the dishes i had to take to my gorgous niece's 18th birthday party. Partied with her and all her hilarious friends until 12.30am. Another late night.

Sunday 17th - Hubby's mum's birthday. Try and do some housework then head off to my brothers house for gourmet lunch for the two mums birthdays. Ate lots of food and cheesecake shop fruit flan (highly recommended), came home after the kids got into a water fight and were saturated from head to toe.

So here i am.... Very tired. Only just now had a chance to plug in the internet cord again after having it all unplugged for the testing the other day. Happy to find an invitation to join the Blue Star Children yahoo group among the 48 emails that came through after a few days off line. (Plus one from Anchell who is sick of my 'bloody' swans) .

So there you have it - I think i am addicted to blogging and blogs as i must of thought about it a hundred times over the last few days. I MISSED YOU GUYS....

Swans!!!!!

Well i seem to be going on and on and on about my new lake. But here i am sitting there out the front (having another puff) and what floats by but 2 black swans!! So I literallly dropped everything and raced inside for the camera. How SPECIAL is that.... Ok Anchell, when do you move in???
I am sooo rapt.
OK - next post about this lake will be the sunrise photo - i promise - and that will be a while coming.......
Sorry - I think i am being a bit of a bore.

I GOT IT, I GOT IT

Well i wandered outside for a quick puff a little while ago and (shock) the moon had risen, a little bit too far, but i managed to click off a few shots. The result wasnt what i was hoping for, but i Photoshopped one and it came out 'ok'. Yay - well that is one thing accomplished today that makes me happy :-]

Wet Wet Wet

I think i might start building an ark - any suggestions as which two animals i should take!! Should i take the hormonal teenager, the hormonal tweenager or the irritating 6 yr old??
I might need an ark soon, I seem to have blown a head gasket in my car. My mechanic thinks this is not good news. If he thinks it is not good news then I dont either. Whaaaaaaaaaa.

Its not cat weather........

How wet is it??? My cat (Bilbo) keeps banging on the door to go outside, stays out there for 10 minutes or less then bangs on the door to come back in. I keep telling him its not cat weather but he never listens to me... walks to the beat of his own drum that kitty.
I have had no water pressure all day, apparently there is a burst main in Wallsend somewhere.... there is something truly bizarre about having no water pressure with rain flogging down on your roof!!! Am hanging for a shower.
Have spent all day doing nothing except sit on this computer, scrolling around looking for interesting information. Found an excellent astrology site www.cafeastrology.com - lots of really great stuff - learned lots. Happy me. Am re-formatting my daughters computer! Gotta luv it - takes forever.

Well it is many hours later and i havent finished this post. Rain has stopped (moon still hasnt risen) kids are fed, i have had a shower (phew), we have normal water supply so got a couple of loads of washing done. A few days ago we had puddles in the wetlands - yesterday we had a pond - today we have a freaking lake!!! If i had any intentions of selling this house we would do it now! Water views, add tens of thousands to the value!!! And where are you mother moon???? Come on, show your beautiful face. I want a pickie!!!
Re-formatted computer - sound doesnt work - cannot find motherboard drivers on the net. I am really spewin that i even know what i am talking about - must be a computer head - is that positive??? I dont think so.....

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Hmmmm - cloudy sky

Hmmmm - I promised i would take a photo of the moon rising over the ponds in the wetlands tonight. The rain has done a wonderful job today of making all the ponds bigger. Now i just need to manifest a break in the clouds at moonrise so i can take the photo!! Any help would be appreciated!! lol. Will keep you posted....

slow down the world.... i want to get off

Hi there
I got called into work today - a day i wasnt expecting. I had a load of stuff planned and now none of it has been done (I am not thinking about the pay packet right now although i am sure it will be more attractive next week). Tomorrow my daughter (the challenge child) has her ballet/jazz concert all day dress rehearsal. before i go to bed tonight, if i ever get to bed, i need to adjust three costumes, make some muffins, type a note............ oh damn... gotta get started..... brb

Phew, back again. ok, have made muffins, adjusted the costumes (sewing is definately not my forte!!!) Well i obviously inherited some gene that says 'do not do today what you can put off til tomorrow'. We have had these costumes for at least a month. They had to be adjusted before the dress rehearsal which is 9am tomorrow morning. Hmmm - they are done now. Well what if she grew or something..... then i would have had to adjust them again!!! (just let me hang onto that, makes me feel better!) Still have to type the note........................

Can i just make note of that beautiful full moon. Wow. I am only disappointed that my mind was on sewing etc, not photography. The view from my front door is across Shortland wetlands from Maryland to Shortland. The recent rain has filled it up and there is a lot of water laying in the wetlands. The moon came up and was reflecting in all that water. It was magical. Tomorrow night i will get out the tripod and try to get a good picture then post it for you to see. Isnt mother nature amazing!!!

Oh well - better go and type this note for rehearsal tomorrow asking for all to put in to buy flowers for the dance teacher. Havent had a chance to check out everyone's posts either.

Ahhh - who needs sleep....

bye for now
luv
jen

Rainbow

I was just sorting through some photos on my computer (trying in vain to organise them) and came across this pickie that i took from my front door a couple of months ago. I thougth it kinda fits and that i might share it.

25 things you might not have known about me.....

1. I am a shy person hiding behind an extrovert exterior

2. I love vegemite on raisin toast (dont knock it til you try it!!)

3. I am a bit scared of dogs - i have a vivid childhood memory of being chased down by a 'big black dog' that my mother swears didnt happen in this lifetime.

4. I have endured over 80 hours of labour in this life producing my 3 children.

5. My husband has been to the 'vet' so there will not be any more, i have done my bit for populating Australia.

6. I am obsessed by rainbows - in particular the colour purple.

7. I also love peanut butter and tomato sandwiches (again - dont knock it til you try it - needs pepper)

8. I hate cricket. (the game not the insect)

9. I love to make people laugh - this is due to my saggitarius rising.

10. Some of the most profound friendships i have made in my life have been made through my children.

11. I still have three friends that i made in infants school. (that was over 30 years ago) And they are all amazing women who i am proud to call friends.

12. I am obsessed by astrology. Not the newspaper variety- although this can be a good distraction now and again, but the real thing with all its planets and aspects.

13. I still consider Pluto to be a planet and an influence in our lives no matter what the shiney-arses say.

14. I design and create websites.

15. I am loyal, honest and trustworthy.

16. My father passed over when i was 20 and this has affected my life in a huge way.

17. There is more of me then i would prefer and i am endeavoring to remove some of it before summer hits.

18. I was reading the newspaper at age 3 and had read my way throught the entire series's of Enid Blyton's Secret Seven and Famous five twice by the time i was 7.

19. I am an obsessive, compusive reader so i limit myself to only a couple of books per year. (Nothing gets done while i am reading and that is not good when i am responsible for a household of 5) I only consider a novel to be a book if it has more then 600 pages, less then that and it is a short story. I love Juliet Marillier and Cecilia Dart-Thornton.

20. I am a computer nerd.

21. I am addicted to Kakuro, Addoku and Sudoku puzzles (in that order).

22. My favourite show on tv is 'Grand Designs' on the Lifestyle Channel on foxtel.

23. I 'do' Australian Bush Flower Essences' which are amazing tools for overcoming emotional, physical and spiritual issues.

24. I have what I call a 'Monkey Mind' that spins at a million miles an hour and i hate that (although i dont know what i would do without it).

25. I am ecstatically happy to be re-discovering my spirit.

Symbols

I have noticed that there is a lot of talk going on in a lot of places regarding symbols. I too have been seeing symbols. I got another one last night which i will draw, scan and put up for you to help me interpret. The thing i keep getting over and over is lining up, or arranging symbols into patterns - I wondered if anyone else is getting that. Its like 'once the last symbol of this set is placed into position it (i dont know what 'it' is) will happen'. Is there anyone else getting this. Hmmmmm

Walking on air..... lucky that as my feet are so sore......

I'm back. Phew. My feet are so aching from walking. It was bloody hot in Sydney yesterday. I took a jacket - i didnt need it!! The funny thing was that i left it at home when Brad was taking me to the station yesterday morning and we got to the end of the street and i'm like - "MY JACKET" so we turned around and i went and got it. Hmmmmm.

We had an absolute HOOT. We laughed til we cried, ate til we burst, walked til we dropped, shopped til we stopped - lol - sorry... couldnt help myself.

We were in sydney for around 24 hours - about 4 of that was spent waiting for public transport!!! Although we got better at it the longer we were there! We stayed at a great place in Newtown called Billabong Gardens (its in Egan Street, so i thought that would be very auspicious) - I can recommend it - it was really cheap, plus nice and clean. Not luxury though if thats what you are after. There are lots and lots of really nice restaurants and cafe's in Newtown - parts of it remind me of Darby St (so i felt really at home) I met a couple of new friends at the smokers table - two twentyish girls, one from Germany and the other from Austria. The Austrian was going back home today and she was sooo excited.

We spent most of Saturday afternoon (other then waiting on train stations and bus stops) at Paddy's Markets and Chinatown. My god - the things you see. I bought myself a new handbag (i desperately needed one) and a little tin for my cigarettes with pictures of Orlando Bloom as Legolas from lord of the rings (woo hoo - i may never give up smoking now i can ogle him). I got an awesome window sticker - Sunseal brand or something - with rainbow colours around the outside and the chakra's overlaid upon a meditating figure in the lotus position (thats exciting as i have seen that one on cars but havent been able to find it in the shops). I got some gifts for the kidlets too.

We had waffles and banana bread for breakfast this morning at this cafe in Newtown YUMMO - this old guy with an mp3 player was walking along the street and stopped - right outside the cafe (which was open to the street) and started singing REALLY LOUDLY and stood there singing for probably 5 minutes - what a crack up. The people you see walking around there...... my god - jaw dropping. We say giant spiky mohawks (scary) piercings in places you never would have thought of (equally scary) an asian woman mincing up the street wearing - (i will start from the bottom) white high heel ankle boots, white floral patterened fish net stockings, bloomers to the knee which were puffy and frilly, (are you still with me - picturing this?... there is more - i will go on) a short little high waisted baby doll dress which had ruffles and frills and flounces, a frilly cap like a shower cap, carrying a frilly parasol high above her head - all in baby pink.... hmmmm..... so if anyone asks, LITTLE BO PEEP LIVES IN CHINATOWN - LOL. We thought it might be funny hat weekend - because we saw lots of those. My god, i could go on for hours.

All in all - i had an awesome time - it was something i really needed. Amazing, quality time with an amazing friend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CINDY. You ROCK.
Luv ya mate

Magical mystery tour

I am sooooo excited!!! I am catching the train to Sydney in the morning to meet my very dear friend Cindy (you try saying Cindy and Sydney in the same sentence!! not as easy as it looks)
I have packed all the essentials - socks and undies, change of clothes, jarmies, toiletries (dont forget your toothbrush), my favourite coffee and sugar (none of those horrendous individually packaged Nescafe for me), puzzle book (for the train trip - i am addicted to kakuro and addoku puzzles) A5 sketch pad and assorted pencils (in case inspiration overtakes me) {speaking of sketches - did those symbols i drew for you on sunday night make any sense - 'chells darlin'??} - packed it all in a leftover backpack from my kids from a couple of years ago..... everything fitted just perfectly, went to do up the zip................ of course.......... the zip is stuffed. ok - everything back out - into another slightly smaller backpack (also surplus - i am too scared to take my daughters Roxy backpack in case i get mugged). You guessed it - nothing fits quite as well - i am spewin'. Oh well - if that is my biggest problem........
We are meeting at central station at about 11 am, will go and dump our bags at where we are staying ( a backpackers hostel in Newtown) and head back to Chinatown and Paddys markets. Woo Hoo - cant wait!!!!!
We plan on going to the Rocks markets on sunday morning before catching a midday train home .........
AAAAhhhhhhh - I can already feel the peace - no kids - no worries - bliss
A really good chance to chill right out - just exactly what i need.
i will let you know how it turns out......
gonna hit the sack
luv jen