wow - what a hairy ride it has been the last few days. We have all survived, 'just' for some.
I guess I sometimes find it hard to be the person with whom the buck always stops... I have (as have most of us really) made some really hard choices for this life - and if I wasnt able to cope with it, I wouldnt have chosen it.
I totally get that.
That doesnt stop me from melodramatically belly flopping face down in the pile of shit that is usually in front of me. I have become adept at spotting, and leaping over, shovelling away, or skirting around that shit, but sometimes... for whatever reason, I just give up and take a big flying leap right into the middle of it.
Sometimes it is just tooo bloody hard, and I dont know what to do, or think, or say, or not say, or not think, or not do..... hmmmm
Sometimes it just feels like I am soooooooooo alone - which of course I am - but at the same time I am surrounded by beautiful loving people.
If some that I know want to be ignorant, selfish shits, then let them.
My there is a lot of shit in this post , isnt there??
Renata is right..... its a very deep week.
I must just remain mindful - and not forget and slip back to non action or denial..... hmmmm
group tonight. am armed with a frock and a bottle of fanny drops...... goody :)
what would I do without you??