Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Crisis averted....

wow - what a hairy ride it has been the last few days. We have all survived, 'just' for some. 

I guess I sometimes find it hard to be the person with whom the buck always stops... I have (as have most of us really) made some really hard choices for this life - and if I wasnt able to cope with it, I wouldnt have chosen it.

I totally get that.

That doesnt stop me from melodramatically belly flopping face down in the pile of shit that is usually in front of me. I have become adept at spotting, and leaping over, shovelling away, or skirting around that shit, but sometimes... for whatever reason, I just give up and take a big flying leap right into the middle of it. 

Sometimes it is just tooo bloody hard, and I dont know what to do, or think, or say, or not say, or not think, or not do..... hmmmm

Sometimes it just feels like I am soooooooooo alone - which of course I am - but at the same time I am surrounded by beautiful loving people.

If some that I know want to be ignorant, selfish shits, then let them.

My there is a lot of shit in this post , isnt there??

Renata is right..... its a very deep week.

I must just remain mindful - and not forget and slip back to non action or denial..... hmmmm

going now

group tonight. am armed with a frock and a bottle of fanny drops...... goody :)

thanks guys
what would I do without you??



Kathleen said...

"Shit" I say ... glad you are one of my beautiful people.

I may need to get some Faerie drops off you xx

Lisa said...

you will never know.

Natalie said...

That is a lovely thing to say, Lisa.

Bellyflopping into shit! Oh the visuals!!!

Cyndy said...

Stepping around it may be easier in the long run......

Enjoy Group. At least its an out you can take.

Jen said...

Thanks guys for your support, and I thought you might like those visuals Nat!!! lol

And Cyndy - i agree that going around the shit is easier but the pile moves ahead of you again, getting bigger and bigger. Eventually you have to deal with it one way or another.... :) thanks heaps


Myst_72 said...

I really hope whoever hurt you or let you down doesn't ever get the chance to do it again.