Saturday, 28 February 2009

I♥faces Photo challenge

I found this great blog, I♥faces... it is a photography blog of, you guessed it, faces. I have manipulated this photo for the Fix it Friday photo challenge.

Here is my attempt at 'fixing' this gorgeous photograph entitled "Silly Girl".

this is the original

and here is my attempt.
.I just duplicated the layer, then applied a gaussian blur. I then overlaid the image. I also used a glitter overlay as per the recent tutorial and burnt the edges a bit. I use Paint Shop Pro X, not photoshop, but am saving.... :)

Why dont you have a try too???

Attention Toni!!!

Toni, just because you demanded, this one is for you and Kristy... and if there is any other red headed person reading this, then feel free to take it!! lol (if you are confused, please see Toni's comment in my last post)

Thursday, 26 February 2009



I have one too!!!

This is sooooooo cool.

coveting is fun.


Another big day today. Life is totally MANIC lately. All I seem to be doing is running around after someone or working. Today i had the most coolest computer guru over to fix my computers. We were all SLOW AS A WET WEEK here and it was driving me nuts!!!

Snigger ( i WAS tempted to put a picture  of the other kind of nuts here ... ha ha, lucky you)

Soooo, my computer is running at the expected speed now (phew!!) and all is well. He is coming back next week to see if he can deal with my unexpectedly low wireless broadband signal... not that it affects me, but it does affect everyone else, which in turn, i guess, affects me....

so, thats it


no project was done.

might go with the sacred cremation idea..... what do you think Lisa, then paint a picture on a little urn with the ashes?? ha ha

Sorry.... of course i wont.... ahem  ;]

Lotsa luv

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

A new post


Its time for a new post.

I remember me 24 or so hours ago.

I was quite distressed and struggling to be able to see, feel and reach out for the light at the end of the tunnel.

Then, and since then, I have been told, shown, reminded, that for things to change, then I must do the changing.

This is very hard and it brings to my mind the old story of walking down the street and the hole in the road. Here it is -
I walk down the street.
There is a hole.
I don't see it.
I fall in.
It isn't my fault.
It takes a very long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is still a deep hole.
I pretend not to see it.
I fall in.
I pretend it's still not my fault.
It takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is still the same deep hole.
I see it.
I fall in anyway.
It's a habit.
I get out quicker this time.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole.
I see it.
I walk around it.
I don't fall in.

I walk down a different street.

I think I am up to the bit where I see the hole but fall in anyway. It can be really hard. Especially where there are strong emotions involved. And misunderstandings. And issues around communication that seem insurmountable. And if you have an overactive imagination.

I know this doesnt make a whole lot of sense, but I guess I dont really want to spread it all out here.

On another note. Cheryl and I had a LOVELY night last night (after the meltdown) playing with Lisa and pendulums. I have used pendulums many times over the years, but have not really gotten RIGHT into it. Lisa showed us some interesting uses, eg using it with tarot or oracle cards, crystals, a chakra chart. Very interesting. Heaps of fun. I am soooo behind in my work. And think that whoever thought up that solitaire craft project is sooooo mean. Hmph, I remember someone snickering about it early in the peace... NOW I KNOW WHY!!! I am fully tempted to smash everything up and glue into a mess and call it chaos. mwa ha ha (that was an evil laugh) I will think of something i guess. heaps of time (NOT)

Anyway, am going to hit the sack. Am very tired.

Sending lots and lots of love and hugs and healing to our blogging friends that are not well right now. My thoughts are with you.



Monday, 23 February 2009

Getting Lisa back.....

Ha ha - my turn.. Heidi, Lisa and Diana
Having another crap evening. I think almost everyone here is battling raging hormones... not a good plan that. 
Working tomorrow. 
Had a lovely peaceful day today. Bit of everything. Including plenty of housework and a bit of drawing. Goodest day of 2009 so far I reckon. Best bit was 6 1/2 hours of alone. Luxury. 
Ok, going to enjoy a bit of Good News Week. Funny. 

Sunday, 22 February 2009

oh the fickleness of a teenager

Oh my goodness...

Does anyone out there understand the creature known as the Teenager???


My delicate little constitution struggles big time . . . .

One minute I am cherished and adored. The next I am hated and despised.

It gets to me, truly it does. My struggle to stay 'in control' is costing me dearly. I just want to either run a thousand miles, or knock them out, or hug them and kiss them. Aggghhhhhhhhh

I honestly dont know how I am going to make it through these years.... I still have at least 6 years to go before my younger daughter turns 20.

Am just shaking my head in disbelief and horror.... sigh

oh well.

Thats what friends are for I guess......

Friday, 20 February 2009


I am RIDICULOUSLY excited about getting a Blog Award. (blushing) It was from Natalie at Musings from the deep. THANKS NAT!!! (hugs)

Wow - a friendship award. I DO always try to be a good friend to my friends. Sometimes i miss the mark, but it is NEVER intentional...

Any hoo.. time to give out the award. To ten of the finest friends a girl could have...

Firstly I must mention my friend Nat - Musings from the Deep, with whom I have been friends since about 1995.... we will always be friends, we know too much about each other.

Lisa, Transcript of a Significant life, my friend and teacher. Thanks for everything... keep up the good work.

Faerie - Faeries Playground, My inspiration and my friend. Always. Thank you!!

Michelle - The Truth as I know it - who has inspired and gifted me with her wisdom for many years now. Thank you

Renata - Web of Wyrd - Another great and inspirational friend...

Diana - The Hippy Witch - Diana, who is one of the kindest and most loving people I know!! Happy birthday and I hope you have a great party tomorrow night - looking forward to it!!

Kristy - Circle of Red - Kristy - who is lost to us now she has a built in bookcase. I hope everything is going well for you in your new house Kristy... Maybe now you will be able to get some sleep :/

Gina - From the Myst - My new friend from Tassie - always encouraging while going through soo much herself!!!

Cyndy - the Blog Muggle - Keep up the good work Muggle. You are incredible - I have no idea how you fit all you do into one day/week/lifetime!!!

Jacqui - Welcome to Earth - Jac, always supportive, amazing wordsmith. Best wishes to you!!!

Wow - that was more time consuming then i thought it would be.

I would like to make an honourable mention to my dear friend Deb. Who will probably never read this (well I might text her now). I appreciate and honour your friendship OB!!! love ya!!!

Luv Jen

Thursday, 19 February 2009


Hmmm ... I had an interesting experience yesterday. I got 'dropped' for being 'psychic'. I actually admitted it to a so-called friend, partly tongue in cheek, because I am not psychic on demand, but frequently just 'know' or 'feel' stuff. Just random stuff. Things that I don't realise are messages until a bit later... yeah, anyhow.

I just said, after her surprised reaction that I knew something that I hadn't been formally 'told'. Oh, its because I'm psychic, I said. That's how I know.

Well you could have heard a pin drop. Then wham, I was dropped. Phew.

I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised. She was a friend that I met at the primary school my daughters attended. I did canteen with her every month for about 6 years. We got on really well and had the same sense of humour. I had never gotten that close to her to feel the need to tell her about 'the other side of me'....

I have to admit though, that I was a little hurt. The prejudice of some people.... even though she has known me for about 9 years, and knows that I am not a bad person. Hmmmm. *shaking head

Oh well...

Que Serra Serra

I guess that leaves a space to be filled by a 'like minded' soul. Someone with whom I can be fully me. Not just the muggle half, but the whole kit and caboodle...

I need a cold shower!!!

Ok, that title should read - "I HAD a cold shower!!!" - Sorry for being deliberately misleading (hee hee).

I know you are dying to know why I decided on a cold shower this morning... well, the decision was made FOR me. Yesterday, our one month old hot water heater thingy died. 10 minutes before the dude came to look at it, cause husband noticed it was acting strangely... (its a man thing - as long as hot water is coming out of the tap it is fine as far as i am concerned!!) so, dude turns up and says, sorry, its siezed. Grrr. Ok - no worries, covered by warrenty - but we have to wait til the parts turn up from QUEENSLAND!!! Double grrrr.

So here is me this morning - washing dishes BY HAND!!! (again grrr) and having frosty cold showers.... (you know.. grrrrr... or should i say brrrrr!!)

Am off to sniff out a bargain at Glendale this morning. Target has a top on special that I looked at last week, might even purchase it for myself. Good plan. Payback for washing up by hand. lol

Before I go - I would just like to make a comment on the blog explosion that we seem to be currently experiencing.

I have EIGHTEEN FOLLOWERS!!! Wow. 18 people come here to read my waffle. Am flattered and a little scared.

Does anyone have any requests??? (and please no jokes about guitars and bottoms)

I am totally BLOWN AWAY by the incredible creative talent out there. I am coveting and being inspired every minute. Wow. I cant keep up. Am going to purchase some canvasses today whilst shopping. (mustnt forget garden twine). I have to create. I must.

Thank you soooo much to everyone. You are a truly inspirational bunch of incredibly talented peoples. Excellent.


Tuesday, 17 February 2009

am really really frustrated.

Have been obviously talking to any available brick wall and am sooo sick of it.

Had a really crap day at work today. Psycho boss had everyone on high alert and it almost did me in (again) got to get out of there!!!

Been doing lots of thinking and journalling around misunderstandings. How do you change another persons expectations about you. When others EXPECT you to behave a certain way and react accordingly. I have been having trouble with this with a couple of family members and it was really getting to me. My thinking led me down the path of 'maybe its just not my shit'. You know how we get what we expect - if we expect failure, we get failure etc. Welllll, what if my experiences lately have been ME being on the giving end of this particular lesson. Me as 'teacher' showing them that they get what they wish for.....

I dont know. Did I explain that in a way that anyone understood???


well, will head off now.

need to cook food for the family, will promise not to poison ANY of it!!! lol

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Soul Journalling

I have completed my first Soul Journalling page and uploaded it to my SoulCollage Blog. You can find it here if you want to look

Was fun.


Saturday, 14 February 2009

what is going on.....

am freezing.

middle of summer

am not complaining, just observing.

this time last week it was 44 degrees c. (111 degrees f), now it feels about 15 (60)....


I have some silly cold that is sinusy and makes my eyeballs and glands ache. yuk

(ok, now am complaining.... )

too hard to be a domestic goddess or spiritual guru when am feeling crap like this... please excuse me


its ok, will be better tomorrow am sure...


of the Domestic kind...

thats me today!!

Hovel looks like a bomb has hit it today...

Must go and clean, tidy, polish, dust and vacuum.

All on three hours sleep - damn insomnia - damn McDonalds, who book A for a shift starting at 7.30 and then tell her to go home when she gets there cause they dont need her anymore. GRRRRRRR.. lucky for them I still had my jarmies on when she rang me to come back and get her (had only made it around the corner!!)

Oh well - will be a tired and tidy domestic goddess today.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to you all. Hope you are happy and someone loves you.


Thursday, 12 February 2009

Identity crisis


Had an crisis of the Identity type today.

Was propped up with a nice stack of catalogues beside me. Steaming coffee and a biscuit. Flicking through, thoroughly enjoying myself... oh, some things on special here and there. Thinking to self, several variations of "mmm, self, I like that skirt... that is TOTALLY me...." ....


Enjoying myself....

Along comes a kid....

teenager to be exact...

I say, hey, I really like this, and this, and this... what do you think???? Kid doesnt answer and so I look at its face.... bug eyed and incredulous.... umm, mum... I think you are a bit - old for those.... I am really really sorry mum!!!!!!!! (pleading now)

oh dear.

I looked again and then tried to picture in my minds eye how i would look....

oh shit

I have come to the point in my life where my mind is much much younger then my body. I cant get away with being a woman of 'indescriminate age' anymore..... damn

my type of fashion finally comes into fashion and i want to wear it and it would only make me look like mutton dressed up as lamb....


oh well... I guess i will go and get myself a polyester frock or something more appropriate....

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Middle child

I have three stories about my middle child that I want to share with you now...

Those that either know her, or know of her via this blog will know her as a TOTAL individual. (that was being kind) When she was young we used to call her 'Feral Cheryl'. She is personality plus x 2342354235.

I will start with the most recent story.

Today, at school, in her Work Education (careers) lesson, (she is in Year 9) her teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she left school - this is how the conversation ensued...

K - "The prime minister by day and a prostitute by night!!"

Teacher - (shocked expression) "What would your mother say if I told her you said that to me?????"

K - She knows - "she told me I should be a High Class Prostitute!!!"

Teacher - (gaping, bug eyed look - speechless)

Gee thanks for dropping me into that K, guaranteed to be the talk of the staff room this afternoon. sigh.... lol

The second story - Last week I asked her ballet/jazz teacher (who is a gorgeous person) if she could maybe mentor her a little bit, seeing as she is one of the only authority figures that K has any respect for. She agreed and then went one better. After lesson last Thursday night she asked K if she could come in early on Monday afternoons and help to teach the tiny tots lesson - the children would call her Miss K etc... well you should have seen her face. It was priceless. Her eyes went like saucers, and her gob dropped open. Her face went pink, red, purple and she had the most ridiculous grin on her face. Awwww - sooo excited. She loves little kids - and they love her too... she did her first afternoon yesterday and had an absolute ball. She already has three cling-ons apparently. Priceless.

The third story - I have a book called The Numerology of Names by Laureli Blyth. I looked up K's name (first name only) and this is what it says -
An entertainer who thrives on an audience. Often a drama queen.
Has a natural ability to spread joy. Can appear flighty, scatterbrained.

What a bloody crack up. Couldnt paint a truer picture if you tried.

Anyway.... thats it for her

Thank you to Lisa for Highlighting me on her blog today.. I must have been her first follower. Keep up the good work :)

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Interesting meme

This is an interesting Meme that I saw on someones blog.....  You just put your first name, then 'needs' in inverted commas into google and hit search. Just like this... "jen needs" (but swap my name for yours, obviously) - funny what comes up. 

OH, and I cant get rid of Italics for some reason...... (my comments in brackets)

Jen needs to have a session or two with a therapist. (ya think??? lol)

Jen needs to get a grip on her life   (yes, I used to have one, but it broke)

Jen needs to be a little more picky about who she gives her heart to  (hmmm)

Jen needs to take some time and be by herself (YES YES YES)

Jen Needs Red Glitter   (why not??)
Jen needs a little alone time (as before, but please add an extra YES)

Jen needs to work on her self esteem   (oh how well you know me)

That was fun... now it is your turn!!

Saturday, 7 February 2009

The Letter Game

Thank you to Natalie for giving me a letter in the Letter Game. My letter is the letter

If you would like to play, you have to list ten things that matter to you, starting with a letter that will be allocated to you. Leave me a comment if you want to play and I will allocate you a letter. 
Ok - here are my ten things that start with the letter L
  1. LOVE - First and foremost has to be the word LOVE. The word Love would have to be one of the most over used and under respected words in the English language. We use the same word to describe the massively engulfing feeling we have for our child, as the lustful feelings we have with our partner as our feelings for hair care products (I love that shampoo!!!) etc. I have been led to believe that some cultures have many different words that reflect the different types of love.  Unconditional Love, which is the kind of love we are all apparently striving for - is easier said then done most often..... Humans cannot help but to attach their own wants and needs onto especially the things that the feel the most strongly about. Possibly the only true form of unconditional love most of us are capable of is the love we have for our child or treasured pet.  Self love - there is another hard one. One that I struggle with regularly. Self love is so often reliant on the flawed opinions of others - and too, the others in our lives are often so busy with their own stuff that they do not think of boosting our self love coffers.... Love - its so much more then a word - it is a complex concept. Phew......
  2.  LESLIE John - My dad. My dad, Leslie John passed from this world in November 1985. I was 20 years old and had only just started to get a handle on life. Prior to that I had been a most normal teenager with all the rebelliousness expected of such. So Dad slips from the mortal coil before I had a chance to really get to know him. I really regret that... a lot. Over the  years I have been given quite a number of messages and signs from him. Most notably when I was pregnant with Egan, around 9 years ago. During the pregnancy, whilst I was driving anywhere at night, street lights would go out. (Nat can attest to this). I would drive 5 kilometers and 6 or 7 street lights flick off as I drove under them. We used to joke that Newcastle would be in darkness by the time this kid was born!!! On the night that I was driven to hospital whilst in labour with him the huge roundabout lights near our house went off, then at least a dozen driving the four kilometers to hospital, then we parked in the carpark and the light we were under went off, then as we walked through the doors to hospital the whole hospital lights flickered off then on again. Wow - was blown away by that. Most recently was this very evening. I was standing looking into the darkened lounge room (talking to Nat on the phone) when from behind me, so I was silouetted in it, a hugely bright light flashed on, then off. I was alone in the house at the time and there is no possible way it was a physical light. Incredible... Love ya dad!!!! Miss you heaps
  3. LAUGHTER is the best medicine. I have been blessed with the ability to make people laugh. Sometimes I admit I get a little silly, but its all in the name of fun. I think that Laughter is one of the best levellers, healers and ice breakers there is. The ability to laugh, particuarly at oneself, is a priceless commodity to own. LOL - the most recognisable acronym of net speak. Laugh Out Loud. Even my mother knows what it means. It doesnt really bother me, except when someone actually says the word lol (pronounced 'loll') aloud. THAT is quite sad really... JUST LAUGH!!! When was the last time you had a really big belly laugh. When was the last time you laughed until you ached. Until you couldnt speak and tears were streaming down your face. Brings a smile just thinking about it doesnt it?? So I think we should always seek out those that make us happy - and in particular, those that make us laugh... ok, so when are you coming around??? Kidding folks, kidding....
  4. LIBRARY - Oh the library is one of my favourite places on earth.....the books... the quiet... the order.... the books..... the choice.... the books..... the books OMG the books. I love the library.... (there is another misuse of the word LOVE!!) 
  5. LISA - Of course Lisa you would have to make an appearance into a list of things that are important to me starting with the letter L. I want to thank you for being an incredible teacher, friend, mentor, blogger...... I have found you to be an inspiration to me, ever since I started blogging. Thank you for bringing out the Goddess in me - keep up the good work!!! 
  6. LAUNDRY - Oh yes the Laundry. The room in my house that I seem to spend the most time... ( except the kitchen of course ). My laundry is drab and boring and one of the two rooms that has not been re-decorated since I moved here..... I want to do it sparkling white with splashes of clear glassy blue and green. Mmmmmm
  7. LEARNING - This word should probably be higher on this list for the level of importance I place upon it. I feel that this is the purpose of our lives. Our reason for being. Learning to live in the 3d, to love and relate to our fellow man. Learning and navigating the effects of Karma. Learning the lessons we came here to learn. I believe we each came in with a list of things we needed to learn. WE  chose the families that best fitted our pattern and list. We then proceeded (and are still proceeding) to live our lives as best we can, learning from the situations we come up against on a daily basis. Thats the simple version anyway....
  8. LISTENING - I am a people watcher. I am a people listener. I love to listen to snippets of conversations as I pass by. I often play a little game by myself - when I am walking along in public, I play my own version of Lisa's Seed Guidance - but instead of words on a page in a book  - I get my messages from the words of people passing by. This can be very revealing and heaps of fun. Seriously though, listening, truly listening, can be a difficult thing to find in a person. I try very hard to remember to listen well. Often I find myself talking to someone - and you can see on their faces that they are not in the room. (maybe I am boring - lol). I believe that the art of listening extends to listening to what people 'arent' saying as well as what they 'are'. It pays to 'listen' to body language also to fully hear a person. So, I guess there is soooo much more to Listening then just plain hearing.....
  9. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. I probably shouldnt complete this list without mentioning tattoos. My eldest, Airlie, has LIVE LAUGH LOVE tattooed on her lower back. It is very beautiful and is accompanied by a beautiful blue butterfly. I have the chinese symbol for LOVE along with three butterflies (representing my kids) over my heart. 
  10. LUNGS - weird I know. But for the first time in tooooo many years, my lungs are free of toxic chemicals, and have been  for almost 6 months. Without even ONE twinge of craving... how bizzarre is that. Tooo easy. Agghhh - breathing... in out in out... bliss.... 

Wow - that kinda went on forever didnt  it. Hope you dont have deep vein thrombosis or something from sitting for so long.....

Thank you for LISTENING, I have LOVED making this LIST!!! LOL

Remember, if you want to play, just leave me a comment requesting a letter and I will zip over and leave you one!!


Friday, 6 February 2009

Aha moments...

This evening I have had some really big 'aha moments'.

I am not ready to talk about them yet, but have lots and lots to think about trying to sort it all out.


Worked til late today, was OK. Ha - boss said that they were fixing the toilet up for me weather i would use it or not... ha ha. Very nice. Must have gotten himself a conscious. Although I haven't really mentioned it.... Have whinged more about the lack of stationery then anything... hmmm - stationery is an addiction of mine - I must confess... might be why am lusting after it.

Missed full moon tonight - damn it. Brad has to work and someone had to pick AJ up from work at 8... so that someone had to be me. sigh.

hot hot hot over the weekend peoples. Am going to hunt and gather supplies in the morning to last this family until Monday.. I don't want to have to go out in it. I hate the heat....

sigh again

feeling really introspective and on edge tonight

I have been given a letter by Nat in the Letter Game. Will do it in the morning... have been thinking long and hard about this..... blog it tomorrow.

going to go and read for a while waiting for KJ to come home from Ice Skating tonight at 11.30 or so....


Thursday, 5 February 2009

Ha ha ha ha.......

You are on the bus when suddenly you realise you need to fart...

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. 

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you leave the bus you notice everyone is staring at you.

Thats when you remember you are listening to your ipod. 
Cracked me up.... not a true story - I dont even own an ipod!!!

OK - as you were..... :)

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

My thingy from last night

An interesting art exercise last night -loved it really. This was what I saw when I asked for an image (more or less)..... there are some pretty cool little bits and pieces when you look closeley enough.

QUOTE FROM LISA'S BLOG - "We made 'manifestation boards' which required a lot of inner reflection as well as some art skills to boot. We then read each others art work, which was a truly interesting and humorous experience."

LOVED IT!!! Thanks Lisa. :) one of my favourite nights ever...... 

No penis's though.... unlike some certain PENILE artiste that we know and love... lol

Worked today. Frikken hot up there - no air conditioners and several machines going at once tends to heat up a room pretty quick. Lousy buggers... too bloody tight to get them apparently. Grrr

anyway - will go and cook tea - apparently now I have to FEED the trolls!!! lol


Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Crisis averted....

wow - what a hairy ride it has been the last few days. We have all survived, 'just' for some. 

I guess I sometimes find it hard to be the person with whom the buck always stops... I have (as have most of us really) made some really hard choices for this life - and if I wasnt able to cope with it, I wouldnt have chosen it.

I totally get that.

That doesnt stop me from melodramatically belly flopping face down in the pile of shit that is usually in front of me. I have become adept at spotting, and leaping over, shovelling away, or skirting around that shit, but sometimes... for whatever reason, I just give up and take a big flying leap right into the middle of it. 

Sometimes it is just tooo bloody hard, and I dont know what to do, or think, or say, or not say, or not think, or not do..... hmmmm

Sometimes it just feels like I am soooooooooo alone - which of course I am - but at the same time I am surrounded by beautiful loving people.

If some that I know want to be ignorant, selfish shits, then let them.

My there is a lot of shit in this post , isnt there??

Renata is right..... its a very deep week.

I must just remain mindful - and not forget and slip back to non action or denial..... hmmmm

going now

group tonight. am armed with a frock and a bottle of fanny drops...... goody :)

thanks guys
what would I do without you??


Sunday, 1 February 2009


It has been a day of disappointments. A day of realising that some things that I hold dear dont regard me in their top ten at all... maybe not even their top one hundred.

Very disturbing and quite distressing really.

A crystallised moment in time when I was left standing while everything else just fell away and shattered on the floor around me.

Further to the see saw day of yesterday - this one was like the slippery dip into the abyss.

Strange - i was seeing on the fringes of what was left that which is positive for me.

Like a stripping away of all that doesnt serve... which is good!! But when it slams you in the back of the head, caught unawares was I.......

I feel incredibly raw and super sensitive, and my trust for what I can see and feel has plunged to an almost non existant level.

If only I knew where I was heading.... If only I knew where to trust....

Part of my (a pretty big part actually) just wants to pack the car and drive without stopping.

The robot part is just going through the motions, washing, cooking, etc... trying not to feel.


s'ok - I have a straw and can find some air from being face down in this pile of shit.

one day at a time.......