Sunday, 18 December 2011

long overdue

wow, its been seven months since my last post...

i have never been a good blogger, but i think that is a record.

i have had lots to do, its been crazy hectic. Man, what a ride.

silly season is upon us and i have spent the last two days shopping up a storm. I am ALMOST done... one more gift for the 'son in law', one more gift for one kid. thats it.... i think... unless i remember if i forgot someone.... sigh. Oh, and a bottle of wine for second boss!! sigh... all i need for myself is a money tree, lol

I am sooooo looking forward to the end of 2011. 2012 is when things start being less of a struggle and start going my way. Not that i have not had some wins, i have, but all in all, its definitely been a couple of years of stripping away that which does not serve me.

if you are still here, congrats. and i thank you. i am honoured to call you friend. my path at the end of 2011 is very different than i envisioned for myself a few years ago. it is definitely simpler. way way less drama and almost no stress. this is awesome.

i am very proud of myself that i have made it through the roughest two years of my life without relying on anything other than myself to get through. I have certainly been pushed way back up against the wall and when i thought i might fall, i managed to hold on and have certainly made it to the dawn. That last step was a doozie though, and, as anyone that has been through the fire can attest, victory is sweet. alone and triumphant. finally almost ready to contemplate sharing my life with someone. almost to a point that i could consider trusting another person with my newly healed heart. that will be a long road. i know this. but i am willing to try. I feel an energy coming towards me now, sometimes i can feel his heart beating in time with my own. very strange, i know, but its true. exciting, scary too, a bit, but mostly exciting.

I actually dont know why i am writing this all down. just for my own record i guess. and maybe to make my intentions known to the world.

also, to announce that i am starting a new blog... i am embarking on a 52 project in 2012. it will be a photographic journey, linked to others that wish to join in. I have 52 words that people can interpret in any way they wish and upload a photo or photos to their own blog or whatever. I intend to make it an excercise in contemplation and meditation and also fun with camera and photoshop too probably. a tool to bring some of the fragmented parts of myself together and learn something about myself, having a bit of fun along the way. The blog is very much in its planning and testing stage, but will be ready to go for January 1st.

I will try and get into the habit of offloading a bit onto here also i guess. no promises, lol

have a great one,
may the road rise up to meet you and the wind be at your back

awesome dinner Bro xoxoxoxo
luv ya guts xoxoxo