Sunday, 31 May 2009

Google searches... and other news

For absolutely no reason at all I decided to look at my blogs statistics to see what people have 'googled' and ended up at my site.

How funny.

I will share some with you - here are some of the more random hits and the search terms that found me.

1. foot astrology.
okaaayyyy. Now I am really into astrology, as you most likely already know, but the reason someone would google the astrology of the foot in particular has me stumped. Unless a babe was like, hanging, um. for a while.. well, long enough for its foot to have different astrology to the rest of it.... no??? just speculating here.

2.  Vania Wife tattoo.....
I know what a tattoo is obviously, and I also know what a wife is (in fact I am one). I have no idea what a Vania Wife tattoo is though. Any clues anyone??? And how did it lead them to me????  Do you have a tattoo Vania???

3. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
I KNOW THIS ONE!!! I should clarify, I know how this one led to me, but I have no idea why someone searched it. I blogged this after the letter f on my keyboard stopped working and my post had no f's. You have no idea how many times you need to type an f in an average post. I admit to showing off when I got a new keyboard and doing the above silly row of f's.

4. "ways to be miserable"
Now this is quite disturbing. I am disappointed that this search led to me, but I can only hope that whatever post they landed on cheered them up before they left.... hopefully it wasnt one of the reallly negative ones. 

5. I do not believe that the accident of birth makes people sisters and brothers. It makes them siblings. Gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood are conditions people have to work at. It's a serious mat 
I KID YOU NOT!!! I dont know what to say about this one.. except that it actually makes a lot of sense and I prefer my sisters of choice :)

6. astrologies+foot  
??? again??? I dont get it

7. avoiding reality
Ok, I am with you on that one.. sometimes the truth is just too painful.

8. lisa aglio age

Any clues here people?? I get the Lisa bit, but the rest is a mystery to me. I wonder what Lisa's aglio age is and if its the same as her actual age.... aaahhhh the big questions in life certainly need extra thought.

 In other news, what a fun time was had by all last night at the witches kitchen and meeting lisa's new sister Kerry (hi kerry) The food at these nights is incredible and there is (almost) always way too much of it. And when Prue gets to take over the kitchen and make some slices.... its drool time!!! Ate WAY too much. Laughed A LOT. Love you gals!!! Was awesome to see Michelle too, after months, most excellent. Most excellent to return some books that I borrowed off her ages ago - all good.

 Working every day this week too, so will catch you when i can. 

Have fun friends

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Friday, 29 May 2009

I ♥ Faces Fix it Friday

Woo hoo

This is one of my absolute favourite things on Fridays. I ♥ Faces Fix it Friday. I relish the challenge here. I am learning so much about using my photo editing software, loving it.

Anyway, home from work today, and after a quick skim through what is going on in blogland, I got right into this one.

Today they have posted this gorgeous photo of a little girl, lit beautifully and with absolutely gorgeous eyes.

I think she is absolutely gorgeous as she is, but I cropped out the distracting white something from the right of the photo, and enhanced her eyes a bit. Overall just made all the colours a little richer.

Here is my take on it.

Of course I added what seems to have become my 'frame of the moment'.

Will try to get time to blog properly later this evening.

Luv ya's

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Thursday, 28 May 2009


I am shattered.

I have not loaded my astrology program (solar fire) since my last re-format. It has been a couple of weeks and have missed it tremendously. I have had reason to reinstall it last night. It will not run. AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is a tragedy. This program is over $1300 worth. I cannot afford it now. Mine is years old, but still worked fine... before.

It loads, and opens, but when you click on the menu bar up the top to do anything.. it just shuts itself down and disappears. O M G

What am I going to do now. I cannot afford to update it to the new version.


I always used Solar Fire to look to see where the planets are at ANY given moment.

To check what is in retrograde.... TO SEE WHAT I HAVE AT 27 DEGREES....

I know.. I am going to see if it will load onto another computer here. It isnt as good as being on mine but better then nothing.. brb



It works


Am tired and worn out now. Dance class tonight. What a crack up. Bits of me are still wobbling. Need to sleep.

nighty night my friends.


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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

My Johnathon Cainer horrorscope for today....

Let's play a game. Close your eyes (but not yet, or you won't be able to read the rest of this forecast). When you open them again, pretend that you are somewhere else seeing your environment for the very first time. It is all 'nothing to do with you'. You are just a visitor, passing through. Oh, and when I say your environment, I mean that in the broader sense. Call it, 'your situation', if you prefer. Look around, calmly and quietly. If only you can remain dispassionate now, you can easily fix a problem that is triggering an emotional reaction.

What a great idea. What a great tool of looking at the forest and the trees.

love it.

If you want to see yours, here is the link

What a feral couple of days it has been. Maybe it has somethign to do with the Grand Conjunction. Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron in aquarius.

here is what I found

Neptune is the planet that drives us to fulfill our spiritual longing. Every individual has in their nature a longing for an experience that will provide us with a connection to our inner Self. For some of us this manifests in a desire for the perfect bowling score. For some it is an experience of God in a Church. For some it is a few beers when we get home from work, or losing ourself in a beautiful piece of music. The experience is different - the motivation is the same.

When we add the experience of Chiron, the Wounded Healer, it becomes necessary to process any psychological and emotional blocks in order to gain that Neptunian experience. Chiron doesn't just invite us to enter the inner world of our abandoned psychic debris - it throws that stuff up in our face where we have to face it. Our emotions can run wild, feeling out of control, as any old undigested memories or emotional angst surfaces so that it can be dealt with. This process can be exhilarating if we surrender to it and treat it just like cleaning out the basement. It's a painful process to go down there and see all of the crap that has accumulated, but a thrilling feeling to be rid of it once and for all. The Chironic process helps to open the heart more and more fully, and in this process we gain greater wisdom and a phenomenal sense of peace.

The addition of Jupiter here is a two-edged sword. On the one hand the conjunction of Jupiter to Neptune expands (Jupiter) the longing for spiritual redemption and renewal (Neptune) which can lead us to incredible experiences of spiritual advancement now. On the other hand, Jupiter can lead to excesses of escapist behavior and flights of fantasy, both of which fall under the dark side of Neptune's domain.

If this triple conjunction is triggering a planet in your own chart, you are likely experiencing a highly emotional state right now and some resistance to the surrender that is required now. Letting go to the river of spiritual evolution isn't easy, but if you can stay in the canoe during this exciting whitewater ride of the triple conjunction of Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune, you will emerge having freed yourself and able to enter a higher level of awareness and conscious action.

Hmmmm... whatever you have at around 27 degrees anything (25 - 29) really will mean you are affected profoundly by this.

I am guessing I have some stuff there for sure. Life has thrown some curve balls this last couple of days.

Start catching sister.


Going to load my astrology software again to get some clue as to what is being triggered here.


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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Tuesday, 26 May 2009






Too much to do, too little time

EVERYONE let me down today.


Expectation is the mother of disappointment.

I know.

hugs to all my wonderful bloggie friends.. thanks for keeping me sane

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Started this on saturday, now its sunday.....

Happy saturday night to you all.

I am a bit on the melancholy side tonight. i have been trying really hard to set some things to right. i have been really respectful and caring. I have not nagged or whinged (well maybe only a tiny bit). I am pretty happy with myself. I seem to be learning the lessons of the past.

Memories have been re surfacing. Stuff from loooong ago. Stuff that I had totally forgotten. Oh, having an almost 17year old in the house has made me look at some stuff.

It is interesting to note from afar what things push my buttons and which things I can easily deal with. I am quite amazed at how many things that I should be ok with, things that remind me of when I was young, these are the things that I really am not dealing with very well. I dont really get that.

I am sooooo immersed in teenage shit right now. It is consuming me. I have been able to take a small step backwards to get some perspective, but all in all, this seems to be the thing that I need to sort out RIGHT NOW. This is where I need to concentrate my healing energies. To bring into play the inner peace that I have deep within me. To bring out the strength that I thought was lost.

Teenagers deploy such emotional warfare. They are sooo on their own rollercoaster emotionally that they cant help but to offload some of it onto their loved ones. I am a particularly sensitive person. One who does take things to heart, when I shouldnt. But still.... I do...

I dont want to be hard hearted. I do need to toughen up my skin though. I need to let some things wash off me. Not be affected.

I am winning. Small step by small step. I know and can feel that I am making progress.

Most days are really good. Most days I am really really happy.

Most days I can deal with whatever is thrown at me.

some days however... some days I am like a shattered mess. An emotional wreck. I am working on reducing those days by as huge an amount as I can. I am gaining some level of emotional control. I am recognising my own trigger points and am trying to head myself off at the pass. A lot of times it works. Its hard work. But am managing. Yay me. Sigh.

I still feel quite ripped off at times. I have had the 'misfortune' to have been confronted by some of the goody two shoes friends of my daughters mothers. They all make sure to tell me good and long about how perfect their kids are, how their teenagers are hard working, considerate, great friends, balanced, studying hard, non-trouble making... need I go on. I wish wish wish that I had one of those. Although.. I am not sure that they exist. Sigh... But still.... how much easier would it be.

Sigh again. No growth without pain, no pain without growth.

All good

look after yourself

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Saturday, 23 May 2009


Happy birthday to my dear friend Faerie (aka Kathleen).

Also to my bestie Kaz, non blogging muggle, friends since we were 7.

I feel a song coming on...

Happy birthday to yooooo
happy birthday to yoooooo
happy birthday to yoooo hooooo
happy birthday to yooooo

May all your dreams come true!!!


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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Friday, 22 May 2009

I ♥ Faces - Fix it Friday

Ok, here I am again. I LOVE the Fix it Friday at I ♥ Faces. I love working on the photos to make them as good as I can. I really enjoyed this one. I thought at first glance that it would be really hard, but I think it came out ok in the end. Again I dont know what I did, just clicked til I liked it. Here is the little cherub chops before photo.

 And here is my fix on it. I am totally addicted to this frame. You might have already noticed that.

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Thursday, 21 May 2009

An award!!!

Thank you so much Evil Twins Wife for this lovely award. I recieved it a couple of days ago, and because I am a slackarse, and also, very very busy... I have only just had time to put it up.

I am so honoured to recieve this award, considering I am a random, not regular blogger. Thanks ETW, very kind of you.

Now here is the go -

The Bella Rules:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

ooh, 15 blogs. Wow, what an impossible task. And I have not got any 'new' blogs that I have been reading... only Lisa's new sister Kerry - so here you go Kerry, a blog award for you!!

a little peek into the world of everything Kerry!

Sorry. I just cant choose. I tried, I just couldnt.

Tired now.

Time to wind down for the n ight....

Luv Jen

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Monday, 18 May 2009

Is it monday already.....


What a full weekend.

I actually had a really nice weekend. Mostly because I spent Saturday night out with my besties from kinder, Lea (middle) and Rhonny (short for Rhonda, left). What a scream. I had the best night out I have had in ages.

We started off out for dinner at the Royal down near your place Lisa, very nice food, I hadnt been there before, but really liked it. Except I burned my mouth on my hot Chicken Schnitzel and it is still sore. We also had a ball drawing on the paper tablecloth, spurred on by the little kids at the next table. Turns out the kids belonged to The Biggest Loser 2009  contestant Ben

He is the one on the right. Hard to believe that he weighed 160 odd kilos before the show.. he showed us his licence photo and it didnt even look like him. My Kira loved that show, so i got him to sign the tablecloth for me and bought it home. Made her day. A brush with fame is sure to take a night off to a great start!!
After we turned down an invitation to go jelly wrestling... (I kid you not!) we went off to Lambton to a couple of pubs, looking for fun, and a nice fella for Lea. In the second pub we went to there was Karaoke. Now we were sufficiently inebriated to think this was a good idea. Twice. We did Lyin' Eyes by the Eagles (hard) and then Flame Trees by Cold Chisel (cool) We got a big applause and there were people up dancing so I think we did ok. The guy who was running it had great pleasure in announcing over the mike that we were 'Karaoke Virgins'... hmmm ... heaps of fun though.. here we are -

Oh dear, dont laugh, thats me on the left. And Rhonny.... classic.
Nothing else exciting happened, including no cute fella for Lea. We ended up back home at Leas at about 3am and crashed out big time. 
Sunday I was a little slow (well slower then usual) and wandered around trying to get some housework done. Managed a bit but still maintain that housework is like threading beads onto a string with no knot tied in the other end, no matter how much you do, there is still more. I am definately a domestically challenged goddess. 
In other news, I have put the whole family on to a healthy food plan. Will be stick thin in no time, you just watch and see. 
Also - have joined Twitter. Want to see what all the fuss is about. Have added my favourite pesonalities like Rove and Hughesy. Are you on twitter??? want to be my friend?? More importantly, do you know how it works and can you tell me?? lol
oh well, best go and cook the fandamily some dinner.
and please excuse the crappy photos in this post, they were taken on my phone. 
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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from Jen xoxo

Saturday, 16 May 2009

I ♥ Faces - Fix it Friday

I thought i would have a go at the Fix it Friday over at I ♥ Faces. I love editing photos, and this one was fun.

Here is the original...

And here is my version. I just tilted and cropped it. Applied a whole heap of stuff actually - when I think about it, I just tweaked and clicked until I liked the result.

Isnt she just gorgeous!! Love tulips, one of my favourite flowers!!

So... whaddya think???

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Friday, 15 May 2009


Oh what a week.

Up and down. Around and around. Oh, my head is not equipped to deal with such things.

I like smooth and calm. Even and happy. All these bloody teenage hormones raging around and snapping tempers etc is doing my head in.

I used to be a very very strong woman. I used to be totally in control of myself and my environment. I used to cope incredibly well with changes around me, adapting 'on the fly' without nary a missed step to my gait. I used to be able to deal with any thing. I was a 'cup half full' kind of girl.

Shit I miss her.

Now I have periods of time where I feel really really weak and spineless. I sometimes feel totally out of control and really really sad. Sometimes I just cant cope so bad that I cry so hard that I cant see. I HATE THAT!!!

I want the old me back. Well, most of the old me anyway.

I dont know what happened to her. I just woke up one day and she was gone.

In some ways I feel stronger then ever before. In some ways I feel in my absolute prime. In some ways I am totally blown away by how different that person looking out at me from the mirror looks compared to how I feel.

I dont even know who I am sometimes. I dont even recognise me.

Sometimes I wonder if my mother has left her body and entered mine with the words I hear coming out of my mouth sometimes. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............ Sigh.

I (almost every day) sit here and count my blessings, of which there are many. I add up the things I am grateful for. They way way way outstrip the things I am miserable about.

I just, for some reason, am consumed by the misery lately. I have been attacking it from all angles, yet still it remains. What more is there to do. How can I deal with it so it will go away. I know that life is not meant to be miserable.

I crave contentment. I crave peace.

I need to feel cared about. I need to feel appreciated. I know these are ego based, yet I dont think they are too much to ask. I have been to the bottom of the abyss and dont want to go back.

Maybe I should just move to Siberia or somewhere.

Another sigh......

Will post something possimistic tomorrow I promise.


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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Monday, 11 May 2009


So much going on in this little head of mine.. it feels like it is going to explode.

I have managed a full 24 hours ish of uninterrupted thinking (I did go to work for five hours, bit of a break from my head).

Sooo much going on.

I sit here, alone - everyone in bed - ahhh luxury. Some vegetable soup is bubbling away on the stove, kitty is here keeping me company. I have lost literally hours from my consciousness as I retreat into my head. Odd... very odd.

Strange energy here. I wonder if it has anything to do with the full moon. Full in Scorpio. Scorpio is all about what is below the surface. What is hidden and taboo. Skeletons in closets etc. Stuff that has been hidden from my view or contemplation for a really long time.

I have been looking in particular at how others seem to perceive me. I dont like it much. I have been in some kind of self preservation void, you know, hide my true self so it cant get hurt.. Hmmm. Lots and lots still to think about. Not least, how to make the changes necessary. I think I am in the process of a transformation and transition periods are always hard.

Ok, am hitting the sack now

My first school term Tuesday off tomorrow in over a year.

Will spend it pottering and doing a bit of homework.. seeds perhaps??

Luv Jen

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Happy mothers day to all my bloggie friends

0h what a day of mixed feelings for me.

I got lovely gifts this morning. Some candles from the school Mothers Day Stall, and a silver bangle that I bought myself. At least that way I get what I want I guess.

For the last couple of years we have gone over to my brothers house for lunch with our mum and my hubby's mum too. My brother is a really good cook and our dinners are always delicious. Most excellent.

So over we went.

I struggled for a little bit re stuff. My mum picked on me a bit. She weilds guilt like a pro that woman. Sigh.

Overall I had quite an introspective day. I had no cooking or preparing to do (did it all yesterday) so had the luxury of being waited on at lunchtime. I spent this time in my head making some more connections and scrubbing out some negative stuff. I had time to think about the effect that my own younger years has had on me and how my own teenagers are reflecting that too. My conclusion here is that I need to find a lot more tolerance for patterns that my girls are repeating of mine. Because this seems to be something that happens quite automatically - I need to remember that they need to learn for themselves and I dont necessarily know or understand the mission or life plan they have in store for them. I am judging by my own set of values etc. I need to stop this and stop it in a hurry. It is not helping anything here.

I am feeling a tad overwhelmed and wonder why I thought I could manage all this. I guess I am managing. Flying by the seat of my pants more like it. My son was absolutely beautiful today. A stray cat (??) has three kittens that came into the yard today. My son and his two cousins (boys) all chose one each and looked after them all day. They fed them and cuddled them. They sat for ages while the kittens slept on their laps. It was really beautiful except for when we had to break the news that we couldnt possibly bring his little 'adopted' kitten home. They were probably 10 or so weeks old and seemed quite well fed and cared for. I dont think they were strays and tried to explain that to my son. Just cause we dont know who the owners were, doesnt mean we could just take one home. Oh the poor little bugger just cried and cried. He was heartbroken. He got over it though, since coming home. So sweet. He is a very thoughtful and caring boy. I am so grateful for him during this period of his sisters being awful.

This has turned into quite a rant and ramble hasnt it.

Sorry for boring you......

OH - yesterday I made a Sticky Date Pudding and Butterscotch Sauce for todays lunch. OMG - YUMMO!!! I will be making that again. Too easy too. Love that.

Anyway, might go and read some blogs and then toddle off to beddy byes....

Love to you all

¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Thursday, 7 May 2009


Its late.

Has been one of those chase my tail kind of days.

Got up and wandered around getting ready to go to my 'other' job, when my fave school rang and said 'are you coming in today???', I said, yes, tomorrow isnt it?? ... Um - no - its today ... AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH says I whilst running out of the house pulling on clothes and smearing lipstick across my face.

then its home from work, take my boy to soccer training, drop the girls at Mayfield, back to training, pick up the boy, come home, cook tea, take a girl to ballet, have my first dance class in like a quarter of a century!! yes, you heard right.

I went to a dance class tonight.

It was the first of the mums class tonight and I was there wiggling it til I thought it was all going to fall off. Oh dear, I reckon it was a sight. Far out. Dancing is much much easier when you are a skinny little thing.

I think walking tomorrow might be a bit of a struggle.

We will see...

going to bed now.

¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Ok... more photos.

This is one of my favourite places at the Monastery. It is through the chapel door from inside. Notice my slippers there on the mat. I had a fascination with doorways while I was there. You might notice that as this post goes on. :D
This is my tarot card bag and folder. The image on the front is a mandala I drew. It represents aspects of me. They just looked pretty and purple on the table together.. a Kodak moment. 
I took up some rose quartz to charge on the altar. The reflection is the stained glass windows, pretty. The flowers were picked by Diana and myself... we wandered around outside for a while. Bliss. 
A fire. Excellent. I love this picture. I particularly love the little baby flame in the middle of the image on the twig. Cute.
 Another doorway. This one is from inside the main hallway leading to the sleeping cells.
This is through another doorway. It leads to the garden which is outside the kitchen window. It is lovely and peaceful. Excellent. 
Lisa is looking at her camera at the most flattering photo of me in my jarmies. So I got her too.
Here I cropped out her bum. She bent right over there to look at her fiery creation and I couldnt help but snap this shot. 
Here she is again (camera hog) doing some bookwork. I dont know what it is cause she wouldnt let me see. Hmmm.....
 Lounge room on Saturday night. Rentata and Heidi were playing Trivial Pursuit. I should have played because I (we) couldnt help but whisper (ish) the answers.
This cute little leadlight nativity scene thingy was on the windowsill in the chapel. I liked it for some reason. 
Notice Heidi making the W symbol to our own WW. Ha 
Lisa was reading. Noice header image Lisa!!

Debs old room with the painting on the wall that she did last time we were up there. 
I have lots more door images that I will upload another time. 
Thats enough for today.
 Take care
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Monday, 4 May 2009


I find myself on the subject of Care today

Caring about someone.

Caring too little. Caring too much.

How do we know.

It is a big thing of mine. I dont feel that anyone really cares about me. They might 'love' me. Because I am their daughter, sister, etc. Not because they actually truly feel any kind of caring feelings about me. I guess I could drop off the planet and all most people would worry about is who is going to wash their clothes, take them somewhere or fix it up when things go wrong. (within my family, my friends are a different matter entirely!)

I have been thinking about family relationships today. How we are forced into relating to these people. People who sometimes, if we encountered them on the street, we would give them a wide berth.

So what does genes have to do with it. Commen ancestry. Blood ties. I dont know.

Somehow, in this lifetime, it all seems to hinge on me. Its all up to me. My shoulders, although broad, are not strong enough to hold all of this up right now. I am buckling under the pressure. I am trying hard to no avail. Like vegemite, I am spread very thin.

Somehow, in this lifetime, they have knocked me over and everytime I get up they charge again. The things my dear old mother said to me today were just really mean when I thought about it. The things that are foremost in her mind have nothing to do with my happiness. That comes a dismal last.

Caring. Very different to love.

Caring. I know my wonderful friends care about me. I know that without fail I will be supported and cared for if I am sad or upset in any way.

If this happens within my family I either get told off, ignored, told I must have deserved it, etc.


So much going on right now.

So much trying to understand and assimilate.

Another blow today. I lost one of my 'one day a week jobs'. (I have 2 of these) Tomorrow will be my last day at my least favourite school. On one hand it is a blessing, on the other, it is a bugger.
Must be aware of opening doors and windows now.

I have some photos still coming from Stroud weekend away.

Here is the rock I painted and left up there on the window sill. There is painted and handmade things everywhere up there, so I thought I would contribute. I liked it so much I painted another one to bring home for me to keep.

Am loving the contrast between the painted rock and the little pebble on the sill alongside it.

Working last day tomorrow.


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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from

Sunday, 3 May 2009

I'm baaackkkk

Wow. Spent a couple of days away at Stroud Monastery.

What an incredibly beautiful place. Peaceful beyond belief. Most EXCELLENT.

Will come back later with pickies etc.

Amazing computer dude came over and formatted etc while I was away. He did some other work on other computers I have here and installed some programs etc. If you live near me and need a computer dude, have I got the dude for you. Oh boy.

Virus gone thank goodness.

Now it is just a matter of reinstalling all my plugins and finding my favourites etc. Blog following is a blessing. Most excellent. All my lovely bloggie friends are all here in one place. Loving that!!

I am going out tonight to see a friend that I have not seen for quite a lot of years. Lorraine is one of the most beautiful perople i know. She attuned me to Reiki 1 and that creates a most special of bonds. I am very much looking forward to seeing one of my sisters-of-choice tonight.

Will blog soon with photos I promise.

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(¸.·´Lotsa luv from