Saturday, 31 May 2008

breathing..... in out in out

calmer now

I have been doing a lot of thought..... and trying to create a plan

We have a GP appointment on monday arvo to get stitches removed, so will have a chat to him about a few things

My thoughts are heading along the hormone lines....

this kid has had MAJOR pmt for a long time now. she gets absolutely murderous and this injury happened during one of these episodes. I am wondering if maybe putting her on the pill or something might balance things out a bit. at the very least, with the pill, we will know when the storm is about to hit......

I have never really suffered pmt, aside from the odd outburst, and dont know if the pill can even help - is anyone more knowledgeable about this then me?? maybe even some kind of mild relaxant taken for a few days prior or something..... just pondering aloud. dunno

any thoughts??

sorry for all the swear words yesterday - i could have murdered someone myself.....

looking forward to having a quiet movie night at home tonight with the offspring. i have hired Enchanted , have maltesers and chips, will pop some popcorn and put it through the big speakers. His lordship is going to a trivia night with an ex workmate.

hope it is as relaxing in reality as it is in my mind.....

Friday, 30 May 2008

Bad language warning

Oh i am soooooooooooooo pissed off

that dickhead, that works in the Community Adolescent Mental Health team is a fucking idiot.

I am way too angry here to make sense

He has just TOTALLY fucked up any chance for her to get any help



sorry - am ranting here

am waiting for a return phone call from the Service Manager of the entire unit.


chances blown


sorry - i did warn you i would swear

maybe later i will come back and replace them with asterisk's or something

here is a few points

  • he was dithering and uncertain when we arrived
  • he sat and stared at her for probably 30 seconds between ineffectual questions, making ME uncomfortable, let alone her
  • he asked HER if she needed help (take a look at that arm buddy) and when she said 'no' he said ok... session lasted 17 minutes
  • I had to suggest to him that he try to give her some ways to deal with her anger and strong emotions, fuck, are they going to pay ME for that...
  • he did not try, at all, to put her at ease, or make her feel comfortable enough to talk
  • he told her that she didnt have any mental health issues and would need no medication - BASED ON WHAT YOU FUCKWIT (she is definately obsessive and probably at least co-dependent, i dont think she needs medication either, but she DEFINATELY needs help) now she has just had her denial confirmed, there is no problem with her, and it is me that has the issue. FARK

I would like to know what 'qualifications' this dickhead has. I had more of an idea of what to say then him, and i have NO qualifications. Pity she wont talk to me.

I took her there because i thought (clearly wrongly) that these people would be dealing with teenagers on a day to day basis and know how to make them feel comfortable enought to talk.

He just rang

apparently the fuckwit counsellor we saw is the one that TRAINS THESE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goddess help us. and our children. He has no answers. Nothing except to offer to get a female to talk to her. Yeah, as if she is going to put herself through that again.

oh well

i guess it is all up to me now

how do i do that when she refuses to talk with me and just gets angry if i try

am going now to stomp and rant and rave and swear for a while

Thursday, 29 May 2008

I love my sisters - you are the absolute best

What would i ever do without you

I have spent an afternoon deep in thought interspersed with lots of tears

I feel both empowered and terrified

failure is not an option

we have an appointment with the Adolescent Mental Health Team tomorrow morning at 9am. Please send along whatever energy you feel is appropriate for us then.

will keep you posted

thank you

Saturday, 17 May 2008

Hot tip...

Wow - the Internet is an amazing place. filled with information that you just wouldn't get anywhere else. I just read something on the net that I never knew before.....

Now i want the truth - who among you ALREADY KNEW THIS????

On the sides of cling wrap, foil etc are two little tabs that you push in to stop the roll from coming out while you are using it etc. OMG It even says - 'push to keep roll in place'. HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN THERE???? I want the truth, did any of you know this already. And who jumped straight up to check their own wrap/foils.


Will blog later.


Monday, 12 May 2008

the days roll on

My planets have been out of alignment or something the last few days... am off kilter or something.

Things have been teetering between just ok and shit.

Friday was a 'shit' day. I had a meeting with Kira's teachers re her behaviour. Yep - little ol me and 11 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS - all locked in a little room while they ripped my daughter to shreds and i tried to defend her. Well, I didn't totally defend her, she has some part to play certainly, but i tried to convince them to be PROFESSIONAL!! And treat her like the child she is. and stop PICKING ON HER. I think i did really well actually, to keep my calm, and keep my focus. Her dragon of a maths teacher, who had a really really shit attitude, spat at me at one point, 'she didn't make an effort last term, it was the medication working'. Grrrrrrrrr. I said 'pardon me, but the medication only gives her the ABILITY to focus, she still has to make an EFFORT to do it, and if provoked, or picked upon, she will still go toe-to-toe with your or me or anyone else'. fucking cow. I had nightmares about that cow on Friday night. There was a couple of teachers who were positive and supportive and obviously wanted to help and try and understand. so that makes 3 out of 11 who are supportive and another 8 that are total shitheads. No wonder some high school teachers have a hard time controlling these kids.

Saturday i rolled up at the cottage to make some gorgeous sparkly things for Cultural Stomp on Sunday. I was a bit a lot feral, I said a couple of lot of swear words. Oh dear.... it had been a bit of a shitty day and busy and stuff and i had an absolute gutful. Everywhere I went for everything, it was sold out. aaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.... so i had a meltdown. ahem. sorry guys. apparently you have to grow older, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Yesterday was fine. Lunch was yummy. I got a packet of chux and a plastic back massager for my present. Both from schools mothers day stall. Noice. (bit mystified why the p&c ladies would put a packet of chux on the table, least it was wrapped in a nice piece of cellophane).

Had a delicious lunch today with Lea and Rhonda, we went to darby st, latte at Goldbergs and along came Carl Barron to the table next to us, he is cute but not as funny as us.

Oh well... working tomorrow so i should go to bed. yay.

also, lisa if you see this, am working thursday and friday too, so i guess i will miss this weeks lesson, i will come along next tuesday night instead?? So will the craft for the lunar group be next week??

sweet dreams my friends

Monday, 5 May 2008

Hmmmm.... pondering

I am led to ponder this evening, on the dark of the moon.

I have just had about my 4th passing comment, chance read etc that has reminded me of the miscarriages i suffered. Stories of people grieving. Hmmmm.

At the time (they were in about '98 and '99), I felt very sad, but then dealt with it and moved on. I rarely think about it. I was only about 8 weeks pregnant both times, and i cant remember why they happended... just one of those things i suppose.

My pondering has led me to remember that my mother also had two miscarriages, though these days they probably would be termed still born as they were both at 6 months gestation. They were both before I was born, and they were both girls. I have always wanted a sister. I have always wished that one of them had survived so i could have had a big sister. I have never really explored the notion that I DO have a sister. I have two of them. And have not tried consciously to connect with them. Hmmmmm. Pondering. Might find some quiet space in a minute and do just that.

Well that leads me directly back to my experiences. I have been trying to pinpoint the time when I started to lose patience. When I kinda gave up. I wonder if that it was then. It is sort of around the right time i think. Funny thing is, that although they were not all that long ago, i can barely remember them. Just the really awful bits. I dont really want to dredge up something that is better off resting, but maybe I should explore this a little too. Just gently. Acknowledge the babes. Connect with them too.


I can feel a soulcollage card coming on....

On another note, just quickly, had to go to work today, and tomorrow, and the day after. Phew. Least we may be able to afford to eat this month. Good thing that. I spent the day today sorting out the Key Safe at school. Sorting, re-labelling and testing about 150 keys in about 100 locks. Shit. Did my head in.

Tomorrow i will be doing copious photocopying and Wednesday will be a nice cushy job in the office on the new office chair. Noice.

Plan on coming to ATC on Wednesday night to see Robert Young. I havent seen him for quite a few years now, probably about 7 - 8 years or so. Will be interesting to see how things have progressed. As long as his lordship is home early enough to take kira to touch footy - bugger it, i will drop her at a team mates house if he isnt, and she can get a lift. Ok - I will be there.

Well, better go to bed. I have to get up early to get ready for work.

Luv Jen

Sunday, 4 May 2008

The link thing

Ok Lisa - this is how i did it...

Go to your dashboard and scroll down to the stuff that they write below where you go into your blog.

There is a link there called 'blogger in draft'. Click on this link and you will go to a blog with all the changes they are going to make soon.

Scroll down to the entry dated February 12 2008.

Scroll down this post til you reach the link for

Click on that one and it will take you to your blog in the draft blogger mode. You may have to sign in again.

Click on the link to the Template of your blog

Click on the 'add gadget' thingy

Choose 'blog list'

add links

you are done


phew, now can I get back to finishing my homework now???

Saturday, 3 May 2008



sat nite

going to bed

stop bullying me 'chelle, you random blogger you

will blog tomorrow

  • what is worrying chelle
  • who is worrying lisa
  • how renata has fooled us all this time
  • if jacqui is ok
  • if twist is enjoying her honeymoon
  • why cyndy hasnt posted after eight
  • how come cindy hasnt sent me the link to her soul collage blog
  • where faerie gets her inspiration from
  • why deb picks on me so much
  • why doesnt diana blog more
  • how much longer i can go without falling asleep