Wednesday, 3 June 2009

mmmm chocolate......

"Misunderstandings arise for one of three reasons: not enough love, not enough sleep or not enough chocolate."

I think I have had a misunderstanding lately whose blame can be laid squarely and fairly at the feet of each of those reasons.

Not enough chocolate is easily remedied. We had a surplus of chocolate at work today. A community group asked us to distribute their flyer with our school newsletter. We said OK. They dropped them down with a large box of chocolates for us... woo hoo.

Oh what a week it has been this week. Like one of those weeks where you feel like you have been dipped into some really hot soapy water, dragged out by the hair and pressed between two rolling bars until liquid squeezed out of you.

Kind of 'sitting in the corner and rocking' kind of weeks.

Full on and full pelt - PRAYING for a slow down in pace tomorrow. Favourite boss lady in office and I kind of made plans to meet somewhere else instead of school in the morning... not really... will be there to face the music again. Unbelieveable. The things that have happened have been freaky accidents and really odd mistakes that just totally STUFF THINGS UP.

I made a mistake yesterday. A mistake that had potentially disasterous consequences. O. M. G. I couldnt believe it. THANK THE GODDESS that disaster was averted. I was not in trouble, as my bosses understand human error. They also understand the extreme circumstances that occurred at once to create the scene for this stuff up. Still shaking in my boots over that one.

Contemplating numerology this last couple of days.

thinking about being in my own personal year 9 which will end and click over to a new cycle, personal year 1 on my birthday in August. These overlap by a few weeks each way and this set me to thinking about the challenges I am facing at the moment and how everything seems to be heating up. It feels like everything is building up to a huge crescendo and I am a little disconcerted as to how I will deal with this. I will be fine though. Because I am strong and have the support of some amazing friends and sisters.

I also pondered my lack of support from any family members that I am related to in any way shape or form (cept maybe my elder half brother who is awesome and offered his shoulder on facebook... love ya Gaz) I have often lamented this lack of support. I feel quite ripped off and have struggled with the whole lack of self worth that goes along with rejection from family.

Then I thought long and hard and remembered how truly blessed I am with my wonderful friends... my sisters of choice. My bloggie friends and my RL friends. AND my bloggie/RL friends. I am truly blessed. I can handle ANYTHING. ...

Well, I might leak from the eyes every now and again, but am handling some really hard stuff, and can continue as long as i need to. I am doing the very best I can and that is the main thing. NO MORE beating myself up over this.

I am ready, and I am CERTAIN that the worst is already over.

Luv you all


Michelle said...

My god Jen!

I think you got it :)

Yes, it IS all about doing the very best that we can and letting that being enough....about looking at only our own roll in it and changing the only thing we can, us. And the others, they will either move on up with us, or be left to get on with it, without draining our own resources completely. As it should be.

This is a terrific post, so proud of you!


jewell said...

yes you can only do your would ask anything more of you

Natalie said...

Not long now, love. Hang in there.
We won't let you go over the cliff, literally and figuratively speaking.