Happy mothers day to all my bloggie friends

0h what a day of mixed feelings for me.

I got lovely gifts this morning. Some candles from the school Mothers Day Stall, and a silver bangle that I bought myself. At least that way I get what I want I guess.

For the last couple of years we have gone over to my brothers house for lunch with our mum and my hubby's mum too. My brother is a really good cook and our dinners are always delicious. Most excellent.

So over we went.

I struggled for a little bit re stuff. My mum picked on me a bit. She weilds guilt like a pro that woman. Sigh.

Overall I had quite an introspective day. I had no cooking or preparing to do (did it all yesterday) so had the luxury of being waited on at lunchtime. I spent this time in my head making some more connections and scrubbing out some negative stuff. I had time to think about the effect that my own younger years has had on me and how my own teenagers are reflecting that too. My conclusion here is that I need to find a lot more tolerance for patterns that my girls are repeating of mine. Because this seems to be something that happens quite automatically - I need to remember that they need to learn for themselves and I dont necessarily know or understand the mission or life plan they have in store for them. I am judging by my own set of values etc. I need to stop this and stop it in a hurry. It is not helping anything here.

I am feeling a tad overwhelmed and wonder why I thought I could manage all this. I guess I am managing. Flying by the seat of my pants more like it. My son was absolutely beautiful today. A stray cat (??) has three kittens that came into the yard today. My son and his two cousins (boys) all chose one each and looked after them all day. They fed them and cuddled them. They sat for ages while the kittens slept on their laps. It was really beautiful except for when we had to break the news that we couldnt possibly bring his little 'adopted' kitten home. They were probably 10 or so weeks old and seemed quite well fed and cared for. I dont think they were strays and tried to explain that to my son. Just cause we dont know who the owners were, doesnt mean we could just take one home. Oh the poor little bugger just cried and cried. He was heartbroken. He got over it though, since coming home. So sweet. He is a very thoughtful and caring boy. I am so grateful for him during this period of his sisters being awful.

This has turned into quite a rant and ramble hasnt it.

Sorry for boring you......

OH - yesterday I made a Sticky Date Pudding and Butterscotch Sauce for todays lunch. OMG - YUMMO!!! I will be making that again. Too easy too. Love that.

Anyway, might go and read some blogs and then toddle off to beddy byes....

Love to you all
Jen
xoxo

♥¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from
Jen
xoxo

Late

Its late.

Has been one of those chase my tail kind of days.

Got up and wandered around getting ready to go to my 'other' job, when my fave school rang and said 'are you coming in today???', I said, yes, tomorrow isnt it?? ... Um - no - its today ... AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH says I whilst running out of the house pulling on clothes and smearing lipstick across my face.

then its home from work, take my boy to soccer training, drop the girls at Mayfield, back to training, pick up the boy, come home, cook tea, take a girl to ballet, have my first dance class in like a quarter of a century!! yes, you heard right.

I went to a dance class tonight.

It was the first of the mums class tonight and I was there wiggling it til I thought it was all going to fall off. Oh dear, I reckon it was a sight. Far out. Dancing is much much easier when you are a skinny little thing.

I think walking tomorrow might be a bit of a struggle.

We will see...

going to bed now.




♥¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from
Jen
xoxo

Ok... more photos.

 

This is one of my favourite places at the Monastery. It is through the chapel door from inside. Notice my slippers there on the mat. I had a fascination with doorways while I was there. You might notice that as this post goes on. :D

  

This is my tarot card bag and folder. The image on the front is a mandala I drew. It represents aspects of me. They just looked pretty and purple on the table together.. a Kodak moment. 

  

I took up some rose quartz to charge on the altar. The reflection is the stained glass windows, pretty. The flowers were picked by Diana and myself... we wandered around outside for a while. Bliss. 

  

A fire. Excellent. I love this picture. I particularly love the little baby flame in the middle of the image on the twig. Cute.

  

 Another doorway. This one is from inside the main hallway leading to the sleeping cells.

This is through another doorway. It leads to the garden which is outside the kitchen window. It is lovely and peaceful. Excellent. 

  

Lisa is looking at her camera at the most flattering photo of me in my jarmies. So I got her too.

  

Here I cropped out her bum. She bent right over there to look at her fiery creation and I couldnt help but snap this shot. 

  

Here she is again (camera hog) doing some bookwork. I dont know what it is cause she wouldnt let me see. Hmmm.....

  

 Lounge room on Saturday night. Rentata and Heidi were playing Trivial Pursuit. I should have played because I (we) couldnt help but whisper (ish) the answers.

  

This cute little leadlight nativity scene thingy was on the windowsill in the chapel. I liked it for some reason. 

  

Notice Heidi making the W symbol to our own WW. Ha 

  

Lisa was reading. Noice header image Lisa!!

 

Debs old room with the painting on the wall that she did last time we were up there. 

I have lots more door images that I will upload another time. 

Thats enough for today.

 Take care

♥¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from
Jen
xoxo

Care

I find myself on the subject of Care today

Caring about someone.

Caring too little. Caring too much.

How do we know.

It is a big thing of mine. I dont feel that anyone really cares about me. They might 'love' me. Because I am their daughter, sister, etc. Not because they actually truly feel any kind of caring feelings about me. I guess I could drop off the planet and all most people would worry about is who is going to wash their clothes, take them somewhere or fix it up when things go wrong. (within my family, my friends are a different matter entirely!)

I have been thinking about family relationships today. How we are forced into relating to these people. People who sometimes, if we encountered them on the street, we would give them a wide berth.

So what does genes have to do with it. Commen ancestry. Blood ties. I dont know.

Somehow, in this lifetime, it all seems to hinge on me. Its all up to me. My shoulders, although broad, are not strong enough to hold all of this up right now. I am buckling under the pressure. I am trying hard to no avail. Like vegemite, I am spread very thin.

Somehow, in this lifetime, they have knocked me over and everytime I get up they charge again. The things my dear old mother said to me today were just really mean when I thought about it. The things that are foremost in her mind have nothing to do with my happiness. That comes a dismal last.

Caring. Very different to love.

Caring. I know my wonderful friends care about me. I know that without fail I will be supported and cared for if I am sad or upset in any way.

If this happens within my family I either get told off, ignored, told I must have deserved it, etc.

Hmmm

So much going on right now.

So much trying to understand and assimilate.



Another blow today. I lost one of my 'one day a week jobs'. (I have 2 of these) Tomorrow will be my last day at my least favourite school. On one hand it is a blessing, on the other, it is a bugger.
Must be aware of opening doors and windows now.


I have some photos still coming from Stroud weekend away.

Here is the rock I painted and left up there on the window sill. There is painted and handmade things everywhere up there, so I thought I would contribute. I liked it so much I painted another one to bring home for me to keep.



Am loving the contrast between the painted rock and the little pebble on the sill alongside it.

Working last day tomorrow.


sigh...

♥¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from
Jen
xoxo

I'm baaackkkk

Wow. Spent a couple of days away at Stroud Monastery.

What an incredibly beautiful place. Peaceful beyond belief. Most EXCELLENT.

Will come back later with pickies etc.

Amazing computer dude came over and formatted etc while I was away. He did some other work on other computers I have here and installed some programs etc. If you live near me and need a computer dude, have I got the dude for you. Oh boy.

Virus gone thank goodness.

Now it is just a matter of reinstalling all my plugins and finding my favourites etc. Blog following is a blessing. Most excellent. All my lovely bloggie friends are all here in one place. Loving that!!


I am going out tonight to see a friend that I have not seen for quite a lot of years. Lorraine is one of the most beautiful perople i know. She attuned me to Reiki 1 and that creates a most special of bonds. I am very much looking forward to seeing one of my sisters-of-choice tonight.

Will blog soon with photos I promise.

♥¤´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´Lotsa luv from
Jen
xoxo