One foot after the other....

Like the name of my blog.

I have become quite cynical lately. Life has been handing me lemons and i need to start making lemonade. And FAST.

I am sick of myself.

Trying to work through the problem which appears to be multifaceted.

Trying to get to the bottom of it. Again. Which i have been back to several times and it just seems too hard and next thing i know am on the phone to the denial hotline. This time it is harder again - as brushed away issues tend to become.

A while back i predicted that if i didnt learn the lessons pluto was trying to show me then i would get them over and over again until i did get it and it would come from people who i care about a lot. They would hurt me more then strangers or aquaintances ever could. I am there now. My real friends are delivering hard messages to me. And sometimes it can be quite painful.

I understand that it has been my 'apathy' or 'sliding along in my comfort zone' that has created this.

I find myself hanging over a precipice now. I WILL NOT FALL.  I know this. There is too much to lose. I do not want to start again.

I need a starting point to begin the search. I need somewhere in which to hammer my anchor.



On another note. Big girl got her School Certificate today. She did extremely well and we are very very proud of her. So she is finally free to spend her days making sure the lounge doesnt float away..... its a hard job but someone has to do it.

Know how to tell which of your new friends, old friends, and former friends actually understand you?


Easy, the ones who still love you.


I still love you,
The Universe




I have subscribed to Tut - notes from the Universe. They are very good and i particularly like the one that just arrived (above). 'Friends' seem to be a topic for consideration lately. Interesting.

I had a dream last night.

I was with a friend and we were travelling up a winding river which was beautiful and surrounded by lush forest. It opened into a vast lake and i was swimming with my friend when we noticed a jet above was 'stalking' us - this felt uncomfortable and i was keeping an eye on it. Next thing i looked up and the jet was plummeting towards us - in a nosedive straight down. I immediately started swimming to avoid being hit when i realised that i wasnt swimming anymore i was in the air and flying. The jet plummeted to earth, embedding itself its full length in the earth. I commented that it was odd there was no fire. I later returned to the scene to find the wooded area to search for the jet and to see if its occupants were ok. thats it - i woke up.

Interesting.

Very empowering really.

what do you think??

sunday

I myself am made entirely of flaws - all stitched together with good intentions...... (ha ha - can just see some people i know doing a yippee and a toyota leap upon reading what i have written there)


This time of year certainly brings out the worst in some people.

Went and virtually finished my shopping yesterday - visited Renata at Hades - it was quite busy yesterday compared to last week. Not even contemplating visiting kotara fair - hmmmm - will finish at jesmond methinks and be done with it.

have managed all the shopping so far without having to come home and sit in a corner and rock. this is good. and being almost finished is a good feeling. frikken bah humbug. over it really.

and to top it off, we must be inundated with relatives. goody.


going to do more washing and contemplation... bye

Blessed are the cracked... because they are the ones that let in the light.

Ha - cool


Had a really really noice day at SoulCollage today with just Faerie and me. Good job i didnt have to work today. yippeee. We had lots of deep and meaningfuls and made a card - yep only one. but planned several more and brainstormed some ideas for cards that will be just AWESOME. Just wait for that one - anyhoo, here is the card i made today

Been a big week. Working every day (except today obviously and next thursday) til SPF.
Wanted to have a new rant about another 'spiritual truth' that i have stopped believing. This is the one about Judgement.

I have decided that a certain amount of judgement is necessary for our own survival.

We need to be able to 'judge' those of whom we need to associate with. Those that a 'relationship entity' will be beneficial and those that will 'destroy' us.

What good is it for us to find us in the company of someone who 'repels' us and to swallow that and embrace them as 'brother or sister' and 'a spiritual being' or 'fellow traveller' - when their energy is in no way in accordance with ours and all they do is make us miserable.

the judgement is necessary for us to be able to determine those of whom we can assist, those of whom can assist us, those of whom we can teach, those from whom we can learn from, those of  whom we can have fun with... etc.

those others - whose energy feels or seems discordant with ours - those who dont make us feel good - for whatever reason - are not meant to be part of our journey at this time. We need to pay attention to these feelings and act on them. Not be GUILTY  for having them.

It is another in a line of things to give us guilt - when in reality - we are staying safe by acting in accordance to these feelings.

I dont condone people being downright mean. This is not good either. Just notice, and quietly move on.

And dont let anyone make you feel guilty for judgement.

It is normal.

It is just another of the tools we have to determine our right path.

My thoughts anyway.

Thats it

rant over


my new mood ring is still purple. thats good because i wanted a purple one!!!

mwa

ahhhh ......

My mother always said, 'if you cant think of something nice to say, then dont say anything at all'.

so i wont.....