Friday, 10 July 2009

The next step....

Life has a way of making you sit up and take notice.

I have had the most exhausting, wonderful, awful week ever.

It has done my head in and put me in that awful emotional place that i hate to be, but where I make my greatest (so far) connections and insights.

It is gut wrenching, tear jerking, hard bloody work. It hurts .. a lot. But it brings up stuff that I never knew existed and helps me enormously... only with hindsight do I see though... I am not through to the other side yet - I will be soon. I have already seen some amazing things and for that I am sooo grateful.

It is fitting, I guess, that this transition period should fall upon one of the most important weekends of the year. Our transition to the next level. I have sloughed off some crud. It hurt though, as any sloughing will.

I feel on the brink. I can sense the precipice, it is just before me as I reach out my foot to take that next step.

I will be The Fool. I will trust that when I step off the edge, I will be taught how to fly, or there will be solid ground to meet my foot.

I have had my cousin here to stay with me since tuesday.

She is about 15 years older then me and hails from sunny qld.

Her name is Jenny. Like mine. Although mine is Jenni with an 'i'. Same thing though

We have never met in this lifetime, until the 27th of December last year at our Family Reunion.

This woman and I have so many things in common that we could be sisters. I feel closer to her then many that I have known for years. We 'understand' each other. We clicked at the reunion, which was nice, but we have not furthered that, aside from a couple of emails. But now things have changed. She has been here for three days and nights. I worked the days but we sat and talked way into the night. I am amazed by her and honoured to call her 'sister by choice'. She calls me the same. Thank you.

It is exhausting though. Exhausting to be 'on' all the time. I loved having her here, but geeze it wore me out. I think the exhaustion has preceeded this dip.

My boy (9yo) threw up on Wednesday morning at about 4am. He has only just this afternoon been able to get up off the lounge/bed and feel (according to him) 95%.

It has been an intense few days - when he goes down with the gastric, he goes down really hard. I might need to boost him with some vitamins etc ... poor boy.

It went through his class. On Monday this week, 15 out of 24 kids were away with the gastric. Tuesday saw 12 away and Wednesday was 10 (including him). What an awful strain it is.. very violent. So far he has kept it to himself. I am not taking it on, I am tooooo busy.

I just looked back and realised that I have not posted for a long long time. I have not posted since before we went away to Stroud Monastery. OMG what an amazing weekend. I sooo love it up there. It was really really nice to spend some time with the Autumn girls, and to meet and be totally inspired by those wonderful Willows. Rachel, you still need to teach me how to paint that eye!!!!!

The food was incredible. We eat well up there... most certainly do. Excellent.

Already looking forward to next year.

I am tired.

Between my head and my boy, I have not had more then about 3 hours sleep for the past three nights. Plus have worked those days too.

I am frikken exhausted.

Will peruse Facebook (stalkbook) for a while and then hit the sack.

Nighty night



Kerry said...

How exciting Jen...your cousin is your "sister by choice". To think you get on so well. Thats awesome.

Hope your son is better soon.

Don't let it do your head in too much with the busyness of the past week or 2, and all that is going on. Am sure it will settle again for you soon.



Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Hope you get rested up soon!!
I love 'stalkbook' true!

Michelle said...


sounds interesting


Jewell said...

sounds very deep and a bit over my head...but glad re your "sister my choice" hugs xx