Thursday, 31 January 2008

Blog more.....

Blog more she tells me ......

trouble is ......

my life is mostly boring, mundane, or downright depressing. with golden moments. snippets.

i get up. i live, clean, shop, cook, think. go to bed.

i read blogs. i play scrabble. i read books.

s o m e t i m e s i blog.....

its the THINKING bit that often does me in.

i read a blog today where a very clever lady spoke about how she thought she needed 'balance' in her life. which is what i think i need too (along with peace and money). She has however discovered that it isnt 'balance' per se that she needs, but 'control'.

this set me thinking......

most of my life is 'out of control' which is why i think i need 'balance'.

my kids are 'out of control' lots

my house is always 'out of control'

my time is often 'out of my control'

my emotions are often 'reacting' and so... 'out of control'.

my body is most certainly 'out of control'.

what i need to do is to take back 'control'.

and by this i do not mean 'rigidity', things can still be 'fluid' - but 'controlled'.

i also think i have totally lost 'control' of the ''''''s in this pist.

so what now?????????

where to start.

am feeling overwhelmed a bit by this, and must break down 'control' into manageable pieces - one step at a time.... moment by moment..... day by day.


going now to think......... where to start.

methinks 'organisation' which is definately 'control' is a Virgo thing..... of which i am most definately not like. HOWEVER I have four planets plus midheaven in Virgo..... i have always known that my mission is to become 'more virgo' - get attuned so-to-speak. Now i think i have a clue as to where to start.......

taa taa for now
take care my friends

sending huge healing to 'Chelles mum...... and 'Chelle..... and her family.... hugs to you

damn public hospital system...... no heart


Renata said...

It is a power and control thing...sometimes when we have little control over our world we tend to give up on having any (either all or nothing syndrome)...I started today by sitting on my bed a sorting out my millions of little saved bits of paper that are on one bookcase near my bed.I am taking it one piece of paper at a time! Also remember, your life may be boring to you cause you are living it, but for the rest of us, it is interesting and different from what we are all keep us informed.

Cyndy said...

Sometimes you have to look as to where the "Control" originates. Is it because we don't meet what we consider the "norm" or what others have, thus view it as a lacking within ourselves, or is it really about making life simpler, so the tiger is more subdued, and we don't feel like we have it by the tail?

It's hard, because a lot of the time, we just seem to get it all how we want, and then it just slips away....... The trouble is, it's never just us that are involved, it's everybody else, and there's just no controlling them...

And I think that this comment has taken on a life of it's own.... so bye Jen ;0)

Jen said...

yes Renata, I think you have hit the nail on the head there... I think i gave it all up.. and now am spending most of my life 'reacting'. Once that starts, its hard to stop.

this is the blog where i found the original post, she explains it better than me.

Cyndy, its not about what anyone else thinks or is doing. Its about how i am feeling inside. and on many levels i do feel 'out of control'. Like i am just following along... and now i am aware of it, i can name four or five scenarios in the last couple of days where i have just been railroaded along.

got to get 'me' back. i went somewhere a while back, possibly into a cave..... wish i knew where, i would go there too, there probably arent any kids there!!

thanks for your feedback... still pondering

Anchell said...


I am sooo there..

this last month has re shown me what REALLY not having control is all about.

I think I will be grateful for what I can 'control', that being me and my perceptions and actions, and try to get to acceptance on that which I have no control over, that being THE FUCKING HEALTH SYSTEMS IN THIS COUNTRY.



Anchell said...

and PS

thankyou for the healing