I'M BACK!!!

Well here i am....

BACK

Bruised but not broken.

Have managed to realign myself after encountering a 'five car pile up' on my highway of life.

Things have been set in motion and i hold good hopes for the future.

Much has been running through my head lately regarding people and relationships - all relationships, love, family, friends, work, acquaintances....

Sometimes i get caught totally unawares - trusting and allowing others to 'be' while i get on with my own 'be-ing'. Then all of a sudden - WHAM - i am knocked for a six and things come crashing down on me - totally unexpected.

This has happened to me on more then a couple of occasions. Even more then once by the same person!!! Am i dumb or blind or something..... must be.

I then find out about all the things i have done to be hurtful or thoughtless towards someone - things that i didnt even realise i was doing. Is this others' way of dumping their shit on me what? Why do i always stand still and let them? Even sticking my neck out one more time so they get a better shot!! Idiot.... i am.... sometimes.....

I AM HUMAN!!! Therefore i have faults. If i didn't have faults or issues i wouldn't be here.

People grow and evolve. Change is inevitable. I am not the answer to anybody's prayers and nobody is the answer to mine. I am responsible to me and for me (and my children obviously). And while i may ask advice of others, and people ask advice of me - choices made past that are the responsibility of the individual.

I have a huge tendency to get trapped in my head and or completely besotted with something almost to the exclusion to everything else. This is not designed to neglect anything or anybody but just is the way it is..... (hmmm - oh for a toilet that cleans itself).

I must look up every now and again to smell the roses (and toilet) and participate in life around me more....

I must make sure i look out for and recognise the signs of when someone is pissed off with me for neglecting something.

I must make sure that the time i need to remain true to myself is not impeded upon by others and their expectations of me.

I must continue to grow and heal. Learn and love. Give and take. Balance.

I have rambled enough....

I MISSED YOU ALL!!!

MWA