well, trying anyhow
Am tired, still - drained of all energy. It seems the slightest exertion flattens me for a while til i can build up some energy again.
Lots of people seem to be feeling the same way. What is going on.
I had a major panic attack the night before last. Thought i was dying of a heart attack. I was feeling really drained and exhausted, then miss 15 rang from work telling me her manager (18yo) has invited her along with some other co-workers to a New Years Eve party at Foster!! They would be driven up there by mini bus (by god knows who) and desperately pleaded and begged to be allowed to go. I know none of these people, well, i know one of them and dont trust her as far as i could throw her. They are all 17 / 18 years old and she is (just) 15.
Absolutely no farking way. Thank goddess her father backed me up, but still.... major stress attack.
This, on top of the exhaustion, triggered a major panic attack. I seriously thought i was going to die. Scary.
Once i figured out what was happening, (this took an hour) , I sat with my little bottle of Emergency Essence and took a squirt every 3 mins or so til i felt ok again. It probably took 15 minutes to get back to just my previous level of exhaustion. But then as i analysed over again what happened (thats what virgos do) it would trigger another attack. Shit.
I was really happy to wake up in the morning alive and well.
The air feels really heavy and stifling. 2007 is the last year of this 9 year cycle and hopefully, we will burst through into new fresh energy come 2008, a 1 year. New beginnings - the start of a new cycle. This is the first cycle to begin in the 2000's and i think that will make a difference - being more 'spiritual 2' rather then the me-you polarity of the 1/9 years, always trying to get a balance.
My opinion anyway - remains to be seen.
Well i am going to put some washing on, and tidy a bit. Damn maid, does nothing around here... will have to let her go i think.
Have a nice Saturday