Saturday, 29 December 2007

New stuff

New title

new description

well, trying anyhow

Am tired, still - drained of all energy. It seems the slightest exertion flattens me for a while til i can build up some energy again.

Lots of people seem to be feeling the same way. What is going on.

I had a major panic attack the night before last. Thought i was dying of a heart attack. I was feeling really drained and exhausted, then miss 15 rang from work telling me her manager (18yo) has invited her along with some other co-workers to a New Years Eve party at Foster!! They would be driven up there by mini bus (by god knows who) and desperately pleaded and begged to be allowed to go. I know none of these people, well, i know one of them and dont trust her as far as i could throw her. They are all 17 / 18 years old and she is (just) 15.

Absolutely no farking way. Thank goddess her father backed me up, but still.... major stress attack.

This, on top of the exhaustion, triggered a major panic attack. I seriously thought i was going to die. Scary.

Once i figured out what was happening, (this took an hour) , I sat with my little bottle of Emergency Essence and took a squirt every 3 mins or so til i felt ok again. It probably took 15 minutes to get back to just my previous level of exhaustion. But then as i analysed over again what happened (thats what virgos do) it would trigger another attack. Shit.

I was really happy to wake up in the morning alive and well.

The air feels really heavy and stifling. 2007 is the last year of this 9 year cycle and hopefully, we will burst through into new fresh energy come 2008, a 1 year. New beginnings - the start of a new cycle. This is the first cycle to begin in the 2000's and i think that will make a difference - being more 'spiritual 2' rather then the me-you polarity of the 1/9 years, always trying to get a balance.

My opinion anyway - remains to be seen.

Well i am going to put some washing on, and tidy a bit. Damn maid, does nothing around here... will have to let her go i think.

Have a nice Saturday


Cyndy said...

I wouldn't have let my kid (any of them) go at 15 either. Regardless of how many tantrums they might have thrown, and they would have certainly tried us out. At 15, parties should be close to home, with parental supervision of party-goers that are well-known to parents, and over with by midnight.....

That's my opinion, anyway.

Rider-Waite said...

I live on my emergency essence at times. I used to damn near drink it while trying to drive in traffic. And I agree with Cyndy.

Kathleen said...

I know about panic-attacks and the "seriously going to die" sensation they cause - I have been experiencing panic attacks since 1985 of varying degrees.

The exhaustion is part and parcel of being over-stimulated by adrenaline as I am often exhausted as well!

Rescue Remedy is great!

Love to you