Sunday, 11 April 2010

What a week…….

I am feeling quite angry actually.

I will admit to it, and am not proud, but want to smash something.

 

I have a dilemma.

My dilemma is this.

My husband and I are separating. FOR GOOD. We are in totally different libraries, let alone books, let alone pages. We have been together for 27 years all up. We have 3 awesome children and  I wouldn't change that for the world. We are just so miserable together now.

I wont go into the gory details.

But we are both over each other.

I am moving out with 2 of the 3 kids. The eldest, who is almost 18, is staying with her dad, basically because he lets her do what she wants without even asking her where she is going, let alone when she is coming home.  He considers this an invasion of her privacy. I think it is helping to keep her safe. Just knowing where she will be and when she will be home. Frikken dickhead. I am so angry with him about this. I hope she survives under his lack of supervision.

The others are coming with me. We are trying to find a big house in the area we need for everyone to be able to walk to where they need to go, thereby saving me about 1000 driving hours each week.

I have been looking for 3 months. Agghhhhhhh. One place was perfect. Absolutely frikken perfect. And at the last minute the tenants decided not to move. Aggghhhhhhhh. Shattered. I would be in there by now.

I get the message that there is something  I need to do before I leave. Some lesson to be learned.

Ok, I get that. SO WHAT IS IT???????????

Please tell me what it is so i can get the frik out of here.

I am dying inside.

I am soooo miserable.

I dont like it.

At all

 

Please universe - HELP…..

or I could win lotto

that would work too :)

 

I am very sick of being sad

I am very sick of being disrespected.

I am very sick of waiting when  I am ready to go.

 

Please universe

Set me free………. 

 

sigh

4 comments:

Jac said...

I'm so sorry to hear that Jen, but I feel a positive energy in this definitely.
Feels like this has been building for a very long time.
Keep walking, keep breathing, eh?
Lots of hugs to you sweety, thinking of you xxxx

Myst_72 said...

Hmm...I'm sure I left a comment on your last post! Blogger must have eaten it.
I hope something turns up soon for you, how frustrating....

G
xx

Cyndy said...

I have just read this after reading and comment on you most recent post.

For what it's worth, I agree with you about your daughter. But it's hard. I've had learn to take a step back when my 2 big kids come home. It's as natural for me to ask where they're going & when they will be home as it is for them to assume I don't need to know since they don't have to check in with me 99% of the time since they don't live with me. Heck: my dad wants a copy of my work roster so he knows where I am "so we can talk sometimes"... lol

Freedom seems to be a luxury, doesn't it. Keep deep breathing, Jen

xoxoxo

Myst_72 said...

p.s. I am just wondering why you and the kids are moving when there's only one of him (plus one child, for now) requiring a much smaller place?

I'm not being cheeky/smart/rude, I'm sure you have your reasons, just wondering?

G
xx