today is good......

I have had a reallly good day today.

No one has upset any apple cart too much, this is most excellent.

I went out with my two friends that i started kindergarten with, we get together usually at least once per school term for lunch in hamilton. we ended up at SJ's for their $10 lunch and can highly recommend it, huge delicious meals. I only ate half of mine and still couldnt eat tea this evening. It is always great to get together with these two amazing women, who have known me since i was five, and vice versa. We know all there is to know about each other, and understand and love each other dearly. Heaps of laughter and chat. Coffee and good food. Very cool. I feel blessed to have them in my life.

I may or may not be going to the fruit and vege markets tomorrow - will not know til the morning - love the bargains, but will not be too disappointed if i dont go.

I dont know what the weekend will have in store for me, the usual soccer on saturday.... after that... who knows!!

I am going to hit the sack now, will drop off here if im not careful.

ciao

dont know if im gun-oo keep it yet

hmmm - what do you think of the picture as header... too washed out??

changed the colours too. time for a change.

lots of things i have planned for the near future....

• gun-oo get thin
• gun-oo move more
• gun-oo blog more
• gun-oo have coffee with my friends tomorrow
• gun-oo go to the fruit and vege market on friday
• gun-oo try to save my family from falling into any nearby abyss'
• gun-oo clean this extremely messy house, not gun-oo let it get in the way of coffee or socialising though...
• gun-oo try to see what to do next on my arty farty painting... what IS that next layer?
• gun-oo stop saying gun-oo.....

sorry.... very silly i know..... (mission accomplished shrinkies!!)

had a nice day today, lovely little upward spike on the graph of hell. the other mary's did amazingly well today.... WHERE WERE YOU DEB??? we missed you.

one good point was that i managed to achieve 100% of the goals that i set last week... hmm, being silly again.... i left that part of the page blank. Oh dear.

yesterday was a day of regrouping. more sorting and sifting. more contemplating. some decisions were reached. some issues identified. productive certainly. i didnt manage to get any housework done though and hey, guess what, it is still here to be done today..... i suspect that it will still be here tomorrow too. domestic goddess ..... NOT!!!

Well, i might go to bed.

yawning, tired and a bit cold.

taa taa for now

AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

sunday.....

Life is in my way so bad it is like having ayres rock blocking my path.

I feel immobilised and numb.

Helpless and adrift.


Hoping art tomorrow will allow me to re enter the world and think again.

hopefully.

I feel unable to go into details. Just surviving through emotional turmoil.

I do feel though that things are improving a little, and continuing on the upward trend.

This is normal for me - to retreat into my cave when i have information to process. I just feel really quiet and introspective. Not able to verbalise anything.

Keep remembering the saying "if god bought me to it, he will bring me through it".
this is helping.

i think it may be partly due to pluto retrograding back over the galactic centre. because it is retrograde, it means 'inner transformation' rather then 'outer transformation' which is what happened when it was direct.

I am certainly doing a lot of long hard thinking. sorting and sifting. ditching the old outdated beliefs etc. trying to find the 'essence' of who and what i am and how i fit in this world of mine that i have created.

why i persist on feeling unworthy. hmmm


one really beautiful bright spark happened yesterday. my neighbour from my previous house called in to visit. she is a wonderful wonderful person. reiki master. clairvoyant, super understanding and nurturing. god i have missed her. she came and we talked and talked. makes me smile every time i have thought about her since. we havent seen her for about three and a half years. how did i let it get so long between visits, especially since i drive right past her house several times a week. she revitalised me. i needed that. maybe that was the point where i started coming back.

oh well, might go to bed, only stupid motorcycle racing on telly as per every sunday night in this house and i am sick of my book

see you when i am looking at you
xoxo

Life is shit at the moment

sorry... dont mean to complain or be negative.

well, maybe i do....

no - deliberate bringing everyone down with me isnt my goal.




STOP THE WORLD... I WANT TO GET OFF.





have been a very slack arse blogger lately.

cant think of a poem like anchell



sorry

will go back and be a misery guts alone.....


P.s. - thanks kristy for the best laugh i have had in a long time. poor little ruby - poor you.
ah memories. i remember the days when i used to have a smelly white patch on the shoulder of everything i owned.

will try to blog more positively tomorrow

just wanted to let you know i am still alive...

jen
xoxo

Sunday ramblings...

Sorry i have been so slack. Posting to my blog is obviously not one of my strengths. Life gets in the way sometimes and although i post less frequently then is desirable, I still check in on all you other Mary's and comment here and there.

I think it has to do with the fact that i consider myself to be a mostly private type person, and putting it all up and out there isn't my style. It is a bit of a stretch for me to think that you would be really interested in anything I have to say. Hmmm, well someone must be interested, judging by my hit counter, so out the window that excuse goes!!

I have been gifted with the task of creating a gratitude list of 10 things i am grateful for each day. I think i might blog them (well as many days as i get around to!) starting today. So.....

The ten things i am grateful for in my life for Sunday are:-

1. My amazing network of friends. Who lift me up when i am in need, who understand and support me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
2. I am grateful that my children are healthy, happy and achieving well within their own lives. I feel so blessed.
3. My computer. Because lots of my friends live there.
4. Blogs. Because lots of my friends live there too.
5. My inquiring mind. Although sometimes it gets me into hot water, for the most part it serves me very well.
6. Special K. The one thing i can manage to swallow at breakfast time.
7. My beautiful fluffy purple dressing gown that i received for mothers day - i can even overlook the odd little bit of fluff that floats up and into my nose occasionally.
8. That my body is healthy and strong, and shrinking incredibly.
9. The moon. I feel so complete and happy when i am gazing upon her.
10. That my children all go to school, which has allowed me to increase my involvement in activities JUST FOR ME!!!

Well there we go.

Day one, done.

I feel content for the first time in quite a long time.

See some of you tomorrow at Arty Farty Class - woo hoo!!!

toooo tired.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry... am totally unreliable

asleep on my feet.

its because i have a good book!!

escaping, was i

chat tomorrow

*9*

'Tis a sad day.....

Sniff sniff..... am very sad today....

My unbelievably comfortable platform thongs died today.

In the main street of Cardiff.....

Can you picture it?

I had to nip into an op shop to get another pair of shoes to wear.

And it took two shops to find a pair that fit me.

Alas, no-one had platform thongs.

I am a shattered woman.

Mourning.....

I LOVED THOSE THONGS!!!

Post # 200

Hooray!!

Happy mothers day everyone...

I sat here earlier and typed this really long, deep and meaningful post..... explaining in part why i unintentionally set a mangy old cat amongst the pigeons.

Stupid computer had a little hissy fit and shut itself down.... all gone.

Now i have the shits and am going to bed.

See you tomorrow at arty farty class

I love this poem. I blogged it before, months ago, but it is something i go back and look at again and again and thought someone might get something from it, especially in the light of what the mary's are blogging at the moment. Will post something a bit more personal later, i promise... no really, i will.

My Law

The sun may be clouded, yet ever the sun
Will sweep on its course till the Cycle is run.
And when into chaos the system is hurled
Again shall the Builder reshape a new world.
Your path may be clouded, uncertain your goal;
Move on for your orbit is fixed to your soul.
And though it may lead into darkness of night
The torch of the Builder shall give it new light.

You were, you will be, know this while you are;
Your spirit has traveled both long and afar.
It came from the Source, to the Source it returns –
The spark which was lighted eternally burns.
It slept in a jewel, it leapt in a wave.
It roamed in the forest, it rose from the grave.
It took on strange garbs for long eons of years
And now in the soul of yourself It appears

From body to body your spirit speeds on
It seeks a new form when the old one has gone
And the form that it finds is the fabric you wrought
On the loom of the Mind from the fibre of Thought.
As dew is drawn upwards, in rain to descend
Your thoughts drift away and in Destiny blend.
You cannot escape them, for petty or great,
Or evil or noble, they fashion your fate.

Somewhere on some planet, sometime and somehow
Your life will reflect your thoughts of your Now.
My law is unerring, no blood can atone –
The structure you built you will live in – alone.
From cycle to cycle, through time and through space
Your lives with your longings will ever keep pace
And all that you ask for, and all you desire
Must come at your bidding, as flame out of fire.

Once list’ to that Voice and all tumult is done –
Your life is the life of the Infinite One.
In the hurrying race you are conscious of pause
With love for the purpose and love for the Cause.
You are your own devil, you are your own God
You fashioned the path your footsteps have trod.
And no one can save you from error or sin
Until you have hark’d to the Spirit within.

wednesday

hello all

it has been an interesting day, with a call coming from hubby to pick him up from hospital at about 11.30am after he gets his finger stitched up - he nearly ripped the end off it at work and needed 11 stitches.

so here i am with a patient for the rest of the week. men are so pathetic when they hurt themselves are they not.....

i went out for tea with some girls from work and others for one of their 50th birthdays this evening. To Dolomides at hamilton. very scrummy. i had cannelloni then ate half of my slice of chocolate mud cake in celebration of the big five oh.

she is a very nice lady and i am glad they invited me to go along.... very nice


and aside from driving home in the flogging down rain and totally blowing the healthy eating thing, all was good - although i did drink a lot of water while i was there.

am going tomorrow morning to choose my mothers day gift. a beautiful fluffy and soft new dressing gown from target. they have them on for 35 odd dollars. BARGAIN - i have always loved the feel of them when i walk past them, now i will be the OWNER OF ONE!!! (well on sunday anyway) yay.

am going to bed now because i am tired

catch you later

blue and on track

it's sunday

life goes on



i got up at the crack of a sparrow fart to get organised for my sons soccer game and guess what???????? the other f*$#ing team didnt turn up!! NOICE.....





sudnay finds me dealing with lots of new stuff, stuff that needs working through.... slotting into place so to speak....



introspective, a bit sad, bit slow.....


going now to cook pumpkin soup



Shrinkage update
Breakfast has been eaten EVERY DAY since last wednesday's meeting of the ISW/B's.
Bought a stepping machine today from KMart (and used it).
Eating and cooking healthy food - even bought extra extra light cream for my pumpkin soup.
Not one chip has passed my lips, the kids had some and offered them to me but i wasnt even remotely interested... hmm interesting
Water consumption has been pretty ordinary (you cant have everything!!)

A SNAKE.....

yep - near my front door where i sit and think.....

AAAGGGHHHH.... amazing the body reactions to seeing a slithering reptile disappearing under your monsterio delicio. heart racing, adrenalin pumping... SHIT - phew, thank goodness i got that out of my system. am choosing to believe that it was a positive sign of the self healing that i am undertaking..... right!!??

ok, enough reptiles. have had a good day today food and water wise.

NEWS FLASH - i had a bowl of special k BEFORE i had my first ciggy. i also drank about 1 litre of water. not enough i know but its a start. i have consumed healthy snacks and cooked a low fat dinner. am feeling pretty good.

happy and inspired to achieve all my goals after the first meeting of the incredible shrinking witches/bitches yesterday. i like to think of us as 'the incredibles'. i just hope i lose a lot of weight before someone wants to make me wear a Lycra suit!! i love that movie....

"What are you waiting for...."

"I don't know... something amazing i guess!!"

cracks me up every time.

and i just need to get this out of my system.... here is the email i was telling you about yesterday... and i promise i will not mention dessert again!!

(I chose Carrot Cake)

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of
you, which would you choose (Sorry, you can only pick one!)

Pick your dessert, then look to see what
psychiatrists think about you. After taking this dessert
personality test, please comment with what dessert you chose.

Here are your choices:

• 1. Angel Food Cake
• 2. Brownies
• 3. Lemon Meringue
• 4. Vanilla cake with Chocolate Icing
• 5. Strawberry Short Cake
• 6. Chocolate on Chocolate
• 7. Ice Cream
• 8. Carrot Cake

No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will
be.

Keep scrolling down. . . . .

.OK





Now that you've made your choice this is what research says
about you...

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE - Sweet, loving, cuddly. You
love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an
ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike
and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES - You are adventurous, love new
ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers
flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique
sense of humour and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE - Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands,you are
an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to
walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you
have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING - Fun-loving,
sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack
motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker.
Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for
life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE - Romantic, warm, loving. You care about
other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in
return.Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE - Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative,
adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold
exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances.Will
not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM - You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,basketball, or
soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching
sports. You don't like to give up the remote control.You tend to be
self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE -You are a very fun
loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to
hang out with you. You are a very warmhearted person and a little quirky at
times. You have many loyal friends.

Well?? how did you go....

Catch you later.

P.S. Where is Sunny's??