It is incredible just how much it hurts on so many levels after being let down by someone(s) that you have held so dear. Oh my goodness what a lot of changes have been going on in my life - in every area, on every front.
Selfish, uncaring, egotistical, thoughtless, thankless, stupid people just shit me to frikken tears. I am soooo over it. Did I mention egotistical… grrrr
ok - rant over
What a rollercoaster I have been on. I am desperately trying to stabilise my life - I am holding onto the life raft with both hands here. My total one thought is for my kids, although two of them are kids no longer, but still kids to me. I love them with everything I have - they are my world. My focus at this point in time is to make sure they know without a shadow of a doubt, that someone, me, loves them more then life itself. We have had some very trying times lately. Lots of stuff has been going on. Lots to deal with. Lots to try to understand. Lots of growing, and shifting and learning.
Until August this year I am in a Personal Year 1 numerologically. This is about new beginnings, and the beginnings of new beginnings. So many things have been reset lately.
My trust has been destroyed. My base has been destabilised. My grip on reality has been shaky sometimes. My faith, however, has never wavered. I have known, all along, that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I am not being asked to do anything that I have not already previously agreed to. My learning is all mine and it is all relevant. Nothing happens without a reason.
Geeze do I wish it was over though. I know, however, that it is not.
I will continue to strive. I will continue to keep getting up. I will continue to fight for myself and my kids. I will be there for my friends, you know who you are. I will fight for you too.
I am going to watch Gossip Girl. Trashy, I know, but I love it.