I am happy.
Thank you AnamCara
I have started a new blog for my photography - specifically for my entries in the i♥faces weekly challenges. I have often hesitated to put them up here, as I feel it is pretty boring for those that aren't interested. Anyway, here is the link to my photography blog if you want to take a look. :)
It is incredible just how much it hurts on so many levels after being let down by someone(s) that you have held so dear. Oh my goodness what a lot of changes have been going on in my life - in every area, on every front.
Selfish, uncaring, egotistical, thoughtless, thankless, stupid people just shit me to frikken tears. I am soooo over it. Did I mention egotistical… grrrr
ok - rant over
What a rollercoaster I have been on. I am desperately trying to stabilise my life - I am holding onto the life raft with both hands here. My total one thought is for my kids, although two of them are kids no longer, but still kids to me. I love them with everything I have - they are my world. My focus at this point in time is to make sure they know without a shadow of a doubt, that someone, me, loves them more then life itself. We have had some very trying times lately. Lots of stuff has been going on. Lots to deal with. Lots to try to understand. Lots of growing, and shifting and learning.
Until August this year I am in a Personal Year 1 numerologically. This is about new beginnings, and the beginnings of new beginnings. So many things have been reset lately.
My trust has been destroyed. My base has been destabilised. My grip on reality has been shaky sometimes. My faith, however, has never wavered. I have known, all along, that I am exactly where I am meant to be. I am not being asked to do anything that I have not already previously agreed to. My learning is all mine and it is all relevant. Nothing happens without a reason.
Geeze do I wish it was over though. I know, however, that it is not.
I will continue to strive. I will continue to keep getting up. I will continue to fight for myself and my kids. I will be there for my friends, you know who you are. I will fight for you too.
I am going to watch Gossip Girl. Trashy, I know, but I love it.
What a lovely day when you are judged by someone that DOESNT EVEN KNOW YOU really, after some frikken dickhead has assassinated your character in your absence previously.
I am really pissed off now. And I feel like an idiot - even though it wasnt even my fault.
grrrr x 15458486156489+615
I just came across this. I feel it quite apt.
There is no insurmountable solitude. All paths lead to the same goal: to convey to others what we are. And we must pass through solitude and difficulty, isolation and silence, in order to reach forth to the enchanted place where we can dance our clumsy dance and sing our sorrowful song - but in this dance or in this song there are fulfilled the most ancient rites of our conscience in the awareness of being human and of believing in a common destiny.
Pablo Neruda (1904 - 1973)
Yes. I think so.
Happy New Year my friends. May 2010 bring whatever it is your heart desires. Love you lots. xoxo